tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44923173551421915162024-03-21T07:30:59.680-07:00iridescentMaryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-86717540085696842302014-09-24T06:45:00.000-07:002014-09-24T06:50:06.359-07:00Life <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Life once understood,</div>
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the fadeness dulls</div>
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<br /></div>
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the dullness shimmers</div>
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with colors of life</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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Life once understood</div>
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is a sense of relief</div>
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to the fatigued travellers</div>
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who yearns for nothing but freedom</div>
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<br /></div>
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Life once understood</div>
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takes away the miseries</div>
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the bored forced day you call,</div>
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everyday</div>
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<br /></div>
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Life once understood</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
shines amidst the haze</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a rainbow</div>
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after a storm</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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smiles throughout the grief</div>
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peace throughout the chaos</div>
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hearts filled with nothing</div>
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<br /></div>
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but a knowledge</div>
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<br /></div>
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of what I am living in this world for</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-16091279432185249152014-09-19T06:53:00.001-07:002014-09-19T07:00:14.613-07:00why bother too much?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
For me, as much as some people view interacting through the online medium is important especially in this isolated life we are all living in but...<br />
<br />
I don't see the excitement or life in it.<br />
Sure, it helps you communicate with people far away and fix those broken bond and give some sort warmth in your gloomy isolated life after chatting for a bit with some people online but.....<br />
<br />
in the end, it will never be the same.<br />
You can chat a LOT with someone online but only speak little to nothing words with that person in real life in fact you might even never talk.<br />
<br />
Only in real life, you'll truly know who you truly enjoy talking to or close to and who truly care about you. NOT through online mediums. A random stranger can easily weave some beautifully strung words that enchants your whole life and make you feel like a fairy or fluffy bunny but....does that stranger even truly truly care or meant it? Was the words written came from the stranger's sincere heart or simply because the stranger felt like it.<br />
<br />
Excuse me, all this emojis like smiley face :D can be typed without any happy emotions.<br />
<br />
Plus, having too much social mediums can be a burden, for me at least. Thus is why I shut down most of my old social website accounts, A lot of people, including me sometimes expects just because I send something to her or him or whatever, that person has to reply asap and if you don't, well that hurts. As if, that another person does not have any real life activities going on and that person's life is completely dedicated to respond to your online hellos. Please.<br />
<br />
anddd, everyone has their own mood swings. Sometimes we're in a decent mood and are online thus type type send but at other times we can be in a hurricane mood and thus the lack of energy to respond to any no emotion online hellos. It all goes back to whether you are a human living in this real harsh world or a robot living in that lovely virtual world of yours.<br />
<br />
Conclusion is, communicating online can be fun to some extend but that's it. It does not indicate who truly cares about you or who you are close to or whatever.<br />
<br />
plus people like me, find online conversations tiring at times cause idk what the other person expressions or feelings is at that time so there.<br />
<br />
There's no need to be hurt or sad because someone ignore you or say something mean about you online because truth is, everyone once online creates their own facade and personas. Some have even more that one. Creepy.<br />
<br />
hmkdahtheend<br />
<br /></div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-79160875373515210512014-09-14T07:22:00.002-07:002014-09-14T07:24:21.235-07:00Anyone can say it but<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As humans each of us, talk.<br />
We talk talk talk.<br />
Sometimes we talk to others, for others, to us, for us.<br />
<br />
It's interesting though,<br />
how anyone in this world can say nice things to you,<br />
can give out beautiful words that might motivate you,<br />
can ask you questions that show they care,<br />
<br />
but only few truly reach the heart of the listeners,<br />
and plus,<br />
despite the fact that nearly anyone can say it you,<br />
only a few chose to give you those words.<br />
<br />
and even if they say it,<br />
the signal does not reach the destined place at all times.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
because we all, when we talk, we either talk for others, to others, to us or for us.<br />
Even when we say nice things,<br />
sometimes, those words, serve more as a comfort for us than to the listener at the other end.<br />
Sometimes, we say it but never meant it.<br />
We think we meant it but no, it was never that.<br />
<br />
If the nice words we say are truly what we meant,<br />
than the listener would feel it.<br />
They would know,<br />
we would know.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-26193052127487941792014-08-02T08:22:00.003-07:002014-08-02T08:25:55.030-07:00IT'S ALL GOOD<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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THE STORM HAS PASSED!</div>
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happy maryam is back Alhamdulillah.</div>
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All i needed really was quality communications with real people in the real world hah.</div>
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So ya, hi spm. Time to do some catching up with you and no that doesn't mean i like you, i still hate you but no way am i letting you take the joy in me. Let's all be humans who truly know, understand and appreciate that fact and not try to copycat a robot because robots does not have a life and i do. CONQUER THE WORLD.</div>
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-32531345492669208222014-08-01T11:11:00.002-07:002014-08-01T11:16:27.957-07:00why is it so hard?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I don't understand a lot of things.<br />
and that includes myself.<br />
<br />
Why is it that everyday no matter how hard i try, it's just so hard to open up and express myself propely.<br />
Even with the closest people or people i really want to open up to, it's just so effin hard.<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
and in the end, the one who sinks is me.<br />
<br />
Nights like this, or should i say, mornings sebab dah 2 am hah hah is those nights where my mind wander and i go into those denial phase, running away from reality but oh, what good does that bring.<br />
<br />
I need to talk to people but once i get the chance, a wall forms.<br />
Preventing the words from coming out and benda lain yang keluar.<br />
<br />
Why though?<br />
<br />
How come it can be so easy for me at times to communicate and talk to others but at the same time i never seem to be able to really let myself out there. Afraid still, still afraid, of myself.<br />
<br />
I hate telling people how insecure i am,<br />
because, i don't want others to get influenced by the negativity and sink.<br />
<br />
Thus,<br />
is why i have so many little notes in my laptop, a notepad, countless diaries and random pieces of papers - those are all for my own sake in order to have a healthy mind har har.<br />
<br />
You know what, just sleep.<br />
<br />
but that's just it.<br />
<br />
I don't want to step back into reality, yet.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
Why though. Why.</div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-48156786902808169872014-07-31T05:35:00.004-07:002014-07-31T17:32:32.453-07:00Chunks #3<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Has not God stated,</div>
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that the Quran can cause the ice to melt,</div>
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for those who seek the light,</div>
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only for them,</div>
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the world will be bright.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Has not God stated,</div>
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that if you're sad and in a broken state,</div>
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come back,</div>
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come back,</div>
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to a remember God state.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Because no matter how kind people are,</div>
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no matter how comforting food are,</div>
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no matter how much you hate yourself for who you are,</div>
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or love yourself for who you are,</div>
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only God knows you,</div>
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for who you are.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Then tell me why then?</div>
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am I still in this trance?</div>
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one moment flying one moment sinking.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Tell me why then?</div>
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is my heart still not filled with ease?</div>
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eyes open at nights, when I was supposed to sleep.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Who hold the answers,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for my never ending wonders?</div>
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day and night I wander,<br />
but no soul seems to wonder.<br />
<br />
Blame the world,<br />
blame the media,<br />
blame the wars,<br />
blame,<br />
blame.<br />
<br />
but I understand,<br />
there should be no one to blame but, me.<br />
<br />
I constantly fall,<br />
and constantly forget,<br />
constantly wander,<br />
without any aims but,<br />
to fall.<br />
<br />
So how can I blame?<br />
when this self is at fault.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-72313325860680353882014-07-30T11:57:00.002-07:002014-07-30T12:02:37.484-07:00Inspirations.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
From one picture comes thousand of thoughts, ideas, perspectives, stories, motivations and inspirations.<br />
Amazing isn't it?<br />
Subhanallah.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjodYwV0VI2g3d5u4Dk3yd2_0gdjlZv7kStWcV4kYRE7uKMJd38qslsMqQhrq_Irs0_MV4ia_weNhCSYRGDekvA-Dl_9pL9AjXztj3i5T_5SU5bFgYOhcLzeweq6U5INxEKSGCsjg-oMmn7/s1600/fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjodYwV0VI2g3d5u4Dk3yd2_0gdjlZv7kStWcV4kYRE7uKMJd38qslsMqQhrq_Irs0_MV4ia_weNhCSYRGDekvA-Dl_9pL9AjXztj3i5T_5SU5bFgYOhcLzeweq6U5INxEKSGCsjg-oMmn7/s1600/fire.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDVluGkqOy1BHqHTFre9tj97iNZ9YNNxFhE9JL1nRpOUn9pT05o98-lXhRVUT1b-4lzOzBb1uia47ujUK57PinDjpmUEusE88kPIeEW0ckIOCBnznppUpsxqQfmwfocLMr7xV-atEgvjju/s1600/tumblr_n01hm5E8DH1t15215o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDVluGkqOy1BHqHTFre9tj97iNZ9YNNxFhE9JL1nRpOUn9pT05o98-lXhRVUT1b-4lzOzBb1uia47ujUK57PinDjpmUEusE88kPIeEW0ckIOCBnznppUpsxqQfmwfocLMr7xV-atEgvjju/s1600/tumblr_n01hm5E8DH1t15215o1_500.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-8195168631735302102014-07-30T11:22:00.001-07:002014-07-30T11:55:27.048-07:00messed up but<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
beautiful.<br />
Beautifully messed up?<br />
like that la.<br />
<br />
Hm well how to start a blog post?<br />
ah who cares. Dah start dah pun heheh.<br />
<br />
You see, this year is a pretty happening year. A year which i think i will remember for quite awhile because<br />
<br />
1. it's my SPM year<br />
<br />
2. Bad things are happening in Gaza, Syria, Myanmar, all the disasters that happened to planes and basically a lot of bad things happened<br />
<br />
3. A new chapter of my life is getting closer<br />
<br />
4. I think i have already figured out what to do and what to be after SPM but of course there will always be a but. Kalau takde tu that's not me, that's an alien from outer space menyibuk nak jadi maryam. k.<br />
<br />
5. I have my dreams but i'm not exactly sure what to do and where to go to achieve that dream<br />
<br />
6. I don't ever want to be a boring adult who become dull and monotone and tak baca quran and stuff dah and become so worried and occupied by money and jobs to the point where they forgot their life goals and dreams.<br />
<br />
7. What if i die and my deeds tak cukup? Nauzubillah.<br />
<br />
I say my life right now is beautifully messed up. I might pass as calm and well nothing is wrong spm mesti A+ punya style to some but haha. Let's just say, I'm pretty cluttered and disorganized and my mind seems to never stop talking. Shut up. Oh and I fall asleep like 1,2,3 sleep! when i'm alone. *applause* but at the same time, i'm living. Trying to fix those mistakes and flaws, trying to improve myself, picking up the shards, gluing it back because you see, i don't think i can afford being weak and fragile in this current era where at times, everything seems, vile. Soon, it'll be my turn to step up to the battle court. At that time though, will i be ready? Rhetorical questions, man i hate those. Only time will tell and God knows best.<br />
<br />
I find it messed up how my old life is, but at the same time, it's beautiful. It's beautiful how those little and big mistakes i did are what makes me, me. It's messed up how i get so envious of others when i see how happy and successful and charming they are, and how completely opposite i am but then it's beautiful how that envy constantly become my alarm clock. Always ringing the Alhamdulillah bell for me. Reminding me that hey maryam, if you actually have all that, you might not become who your are right now, in fact you might become worse. God knows best God knows best.<br />
<br />
It's also very messed up how a lot of tragedies *being dramatic here* or to tone it down, extremely stressful and tough moments happened to me but in the end, the lesson is always, beautiful. It's too personal though, i can not tell but i'm sure though, thousands of people out there experienced those beautifully messed up moment.<br />
<br />
I feel like, the people in Gaza, Syria, Myanmar are also experiencing it,<br />
Because, after all they had been through, God will certainly reward them.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy9QT2p2mqTDu0sJpUqyXTS260o9R1eCq9PBnXBtbZoKooR1XeiHQ7pe6U4kpYHaY6CjL7kdB9mnp9EWxslg9J09ciTb-OlugUpATzjnl-SpSFGR4r1Bbc04t8Nsvostj3ZOU6ak9o63Ee/s1600/tumblr_n01hm5E8DH1t15215o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy9QT2p2mqTDu0sJpUqyXTS260o9R1eCq9PBnXBtbZoKooR1XeiHQ7pe6U4kpYHaY6CjL7kdB9mnp9EWxslg9J09ciTb-OlugUpATzjnl-SpSFGR4r1Bbc04t8Nsvostj3ZOU6ak9o63Ee/s1600/tumblr_n01hm5E8DH1t15215o1_500.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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Cries and grief are a norm to them,</div>
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bullets and bombs are nothing to them,</div>
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<br /></div>
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Grey skies and gloomy days are calm to them,</div>
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because those days for them,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
are better than,</div>
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days filled with shouts and terror.</div>
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<br /></div>
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but Oh people,</div>
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people of courage,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
know that the world is not simply made of,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
mirage.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because the world do cry for you,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
although some still point they fingers,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
at you.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God though,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
watches and listens,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
to your silent grief and whispers.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
never missing a single blister.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and don't worry,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
O people who worry</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because in the Quran,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
God has promised.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Paradise is what He promised,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For your faith, bravery, patience and spirit.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Long rest and happiness will be for you,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
In the most beautiful place God, has created,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
for you who went through this messed life,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but every night look up,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and thank Him for this beautiful beautiful life.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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</div>
<br /></div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-60303326688871877632014-07-24T09:42:00.000-07:002014-07-24T09:53:26.939-07:00Chunks #2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivoldmp_zvDQpFbl5_pSn2l52ad6btcrikjqqomu3JYk-fgn9yzcxSDbdgUex7EiMjzxGcetPIQbPq829ZYUnz5KMHqNjA6vL8gLs8jtqu1SCiA5gAnUzXpO1J1j0jl1LNgEv5ZvDAtsfA/s1600/vnh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivoldmp_zvDQpFbl5_pSn2l52ad6btcrikjqqomu3JYk-fgn9yzcxSDbdgUex7EiMjzxGcetPIQbPq829ZYUnz5KMHqNjA6vL8gLs8jtqu1SCiA5gAnUzXpO1J1j0jl1LNgEv5ZvDAtsfA/s1600/vnh.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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Wash away,</div>
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wash away,</div>
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let the rain,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
wash you away.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
O little bird,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
what do you feel?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
sitting in the tree,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
under the thick rain,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
while knowing,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
knowing,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
the tree can fall,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
the rain can worsen,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
a hail may come.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
O little bird,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
what do you feel?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
sitting in the tree,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
under the rain.</div>
</div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-23266341873572922292014-06-13T09:01:00.001-07:002014-07-24T09:51:26.109-07:00Chunks #1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I always find it strange how people including me can still get so depressed and down and sad despite how delicious that pancake was or how beautiful the sky was yesterday morning and man, the sky is beautiful every single day, yet, so many seems sadly blind to it.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Blinded by themselves.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A self searching for the sound</div>
<div>
wondering where it came from</div>
<div>
searching </div>
<div>
and searching</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
and</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
never once realized that,</div>
<div>
the world is white</div>
<div>
the roads merge</div>
<div>
the stars doesn't shine</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
shrouded by a blind fold</div>
<div>
made of threads </div>
<div>
listening and listening</div>
<div>
searching and searching</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
but</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
never once ask</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
why can't I see?</div>
</div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-76487662000065367322014-06-12T00:10:00.001-07:002014-06-12T05:49:56.625-07:00What makes one different?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
what makes a person different?<br />
<br />
let's cut to the chase, i was never one who put another human being as admirable by their exterior thus my lack of fan girling as they say.<br />
<br />
I never understood some people are being adored simply by being an actress or singer or model or some tv personality. I just can not comprehend it and even when I try, back to zero.<br />
<br />
For me, everyone has the same virtue. We were all born in the same inner state no matter in what condition we lived in although gradually as we get older, something somewhere in us changes and thus is how the emergence of all these individuals with strange habits, obsessions, likes and a diverse range of opinions too.<br />
<br />
I'm that kid who gets annoyed easily especially when people rave over looks bam bam. For me, that's just retarded. Obsessing and longing to have that person's nose or i wish i have her nose or if i only have long legs bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaaaaaa gahd. Please, stay away from me. When people idolize over a certain famous individual, the same thought would always cross my mind.<br />
<br />
Aren't we all the same? By beauty, what do you mean? You're just as pretty too you know?<br />
<br />
i don't know why but i have this habit of imagining random people i see while walking around to be one of those famous people they all "admire" and thought meh what's the difference, that girl at the coffee shop i just saw is damn pretty too so what makes her different from those you rave over?<br />
<br />
Frankly i'm stating this because I think in a sense this habit of crooning over someone's exterior indulgently in the end brings a cloud of insecurities towards the admirer especially when the admirer herself already have this sense of not being satisfied or ashamed of herself. There's nothing wrong with admiring one's features but it's wrong when it's too much where the admirer starts to compare that, say, model to herself and others and feel ugly. Oh and also when people are so obsessed with that a certain famous individual and get this disease called being blind even though you're not. That's so wrong.<br />
<br />
God Himself is proud with what He created so why are we creations of God ashamed of ourselves when the one whom our world revolves around are extremely proud and loves us more that we love ourselves?<br />
<br />
but ya, it's fine with simply admiring it because you're admiring God's creation and that's it.<br />
Say Alhamdulillah and move on tsk.<br />
<br />
"and proclaim, the favor of your Lord" - Surah Ad dhuha<br />
<br />
See, even God likes it when we talk about His blessings. You see, blessings come in variety of versions and some, may not come directly to us, but to the people around us.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-87155146935403817362014-04-14T07:47:00.003-07:002014-04-18T04:34:00.234-07:00when one door closes, another opens<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The sun was blazing hot that day, yet it wasn't the type of weather where you'll instantly get fried the moment you step out of shade, it was the typical weather. Sunny with the occasional breeze.It was those days where everyone seems to be occupied with who knows what they are busy with. Those days where it seems as if, you are invincible from the eyes of occupiers.<br />
<br />
and there she sat,<br />
with her worn out shoes, worn after trying to run away from her own,self.<br />
there she sat, with tired and swollen eyes, undecipherable eyes, beaten but fighting.<br />
her back was slouched against the wall, head facing the old beaten sidewalk, and in her right fist is a crumpled once important note.<br />
<br />
She couldn't understand how twisted everything could be. Just minutes ago, she was bustling around full of energy and joy like a little box bursting with colors yet now, her once glowing pedestal stood dull and lifeless staring at a vast empty land full with everything but faith. Faith. How could she have faith in anything else after the faith she kept and believed in all these years suddenly decide to shoot itself down in front of her.<br />
<br />
The world was silent as she sat with her swirling pool of thoughts shrouded with despair, anguish and hopelessness. The clock keeps ticking. The world continues to rotate at its axis. People continuously bustle around the small street beside the sidewalk occupied with their own world failing to notice the fragile and broken existence of the girl with the lifeless pedestal sitting lifelessly at the sidewalk. Thus is humans.<br />
<br />
The girl, tired of slouching, straightened her back and tilted her head slowly but surely to the front. She saw how the cars sped by, gifting the sidewalk with nothing but dust. She saw how the world continues to operate, not stopping for any broken soul and alas she was just another one of the many broken souls. She saw how the sky remains blue and serene despite all the tragedies that are currently happening under its protection. She saw how that little 5 year old boy fell down while trying to chase his mom, cried, stood up again, and caught up with his mom who was waiting for him with a small packet of candy to reward him for his courage. Slowly, she close her tired eyes.<br />
<br />
Thoughts after thoughts erupted in her mind until one distinct thought starts to emerge. The voice of her father when he lost his job. His voice rang through the girl's head like the sound of the bell of a cathedral. "When one door closes, another opens".<br />
<br />
Abruptly, she opened her eyes, took a long deep breathe, pushed one hand to the ground and wearily stood up on the sidewalk. Without sparing another glance at the crumpled piece of paper in her right fist, she threw it in the dustbin right beside her as though it was waiting for her to realize the reason for its existence. It was as if the sole reason she sat there was to throw the paper away. "Geez, how stupid is this" said the once lifeless soul.<br />
<br />
Wiping away the dust and tears, she put one foot in front of the other and walk away from the gloomy vicinity. She knew though, that the gloominess will still creep in her shattered pedestal but she now knew that it's not worth the time to deal with gloomy stuff when the whole world is bursting with colors waiting for her to paint patterns with the colors. The wise words from her father engulfed her and burnt a new light in her dark abyss.<br />
<br />
A new light of faith and hope that she hope will last and even if it won't, she will fight for its light and if it still wants to fade away, i guess she'll just light a new one and move on with that source of light as it is no use to cry over spilled milk. Good that.</div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-41385261283878947192014-03-16T04:29:00.001-07:002014-03-16T04:37:18.877-07:00another one<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br /></div>
Narrated by Abu Huraira' (may Allah be please with him) :<br />
I heard Allah's Messenger (Peace be upon him) saying : There were two fraternal persons among the Children of Israel. One of them was engrossed in committing sins while the other was devoted to worship.<br />
<br />
The devotee used to see his fellow committing sin and advise him : Desist from doing.<br />
<br />
One day when he found his fellow committing sin. He said to him : Avoid it.<br />
<br />
His fellow said : Leave me alone. Have you been sent out as a vigilant on me.<br />
<br />
The devotee said : By Allah, He will neither forgive you nor admit you to Paradise.<br />
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<br /></div>
When they died, they were gathered before the Lord of the world.<br />
<br />
Allah asked the devotee : Were you assured of knowing Me or were you having power over what was in My Hands?<br />
<br />
Then He said to the sinner : Go and enter Paradise by My Mercy ; and ordered the angels about the devotee : Lead him to Hell.<br />
<br />
(This Hadith is sound and reported by Abu Daud in his Sunan)<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.200000762939453px; text-align: justify;">'After narrating the Hadith, Abu Huraira commented: By Him in Whose Hand my soul is: One word spoken by the devotee ruined his good deeds in the world as well as in the Hereafter. *This Hadith signifies that no body should claim whether one would enter Paradise or step into Hell because the verdict here, is for Allah Who is All-Omnipotent over every thing, will decide whatever He likes. A righteous person is required to do good and avoid evil for the sake of Allah only and advise others with the same. He should not say such words as to challenge the authority of Allah. Moreover, it is wrong to feel desperate from the Mercy of Allah.*</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.200000762939453px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19.200000762939453px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="color: purple;">So that's basically what the Hadith meant. But the main reason why i decided to post this here is for me to constantly remind myself of how dangerous words can be. No matter how "righteous" or "close" to God or "amazing" you think you are, no one should have any right to stride around uttering words that put people down simply because he thinks he's better and negate the whole concept of getting close to God on the 1st place.</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: purple;">that's why, silence is golden.</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: purple;">This can also be related to my daily life.</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;">Joking around with friends, talking to my parents, teachers, grandma, juniors and everyone around me, sometimes i forget myself and unintentionally or intentionally say something immature which I CAN'T take back which is extremely regretful.</span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: purple;">and just knowing that because of your words, your whole "future" can be affected is a risk i refuse to take. So this is for me. For you. For everyone.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-492788451240087442014-01-25T08:16:00.000-08:002014-01-25T11:34:09.646-08:00contentment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<br />
illusion.<br />
<br />
we're all living in our own deluded world of delusion.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
ever wonder why it's so hard to be content than being discontent by someone or something?<br />
<br />
delusions.<br />
<br />
the way we view the world, the way we view ourselves, the way we view the events around us ... are all analysed and characterised by the way we want it to be.<br />
<br />
how do you own a positive mind?<br />
by telling yourself you're awesome. by feeding your mind with motivating happy thoughts that generate a positive charge which in the end results in you feeling good. That itself is a proof of how illusionlike this world is. it shapes itself the way we want it to be.<br />
<br />
like how you could bury yourself under your duvet the whole day and not have a single of care of the world or read dozens of books in a day just to delve into your another <br />
world that held the contentment you crave or maybe the way you don't care about what's happening around you because you're tired of how vile and unfair this world is.<br />
<br />
yet, deep inside you know that no matter how much you want the world to rotate the way you want it to be, it just won't. No matter how desperately you want the time to quit ticking for a few minutes or hours or just a FEW SECONDS OMG because you forgot to do a freaking assignment that is supposed to be given in today, the clock will still go "tick tick tick" every second without missing a beat unless, the battery ran out :P<br />
<br />
so today, after a nice quality time with my family, we prayed Isya' together.<br />
<br />
Every broken pieces were momentarily snapped back in place,<br />
there was no sound around us, <br />
except for the beautiful prayer and quran recitations by my father,<br />
and the occasional sounds of crickets and the creatures of the night,<br />
all thoughts were erased,<br />
my heart and mind were together, at ease,<br />
contentment.<br />
This is what true happiness is.<br />
I couldn't describe the feeling for it feels... surreal,<br />
yet standing beside my mother, praying, listening,<br />
every cells in me thought "i wish time will just stop"<br />
it hits me then after i turned my head to the left for the last action of the prayer,<br />
how golden time really is,<br />
how much i love my father and mother,<br />
and brother and grandma.<br />
and my sisters and their family,<br />
and,<br />
i couldn't help but think,<br />
"what if this is my last prayer with my mom and dad?"<br />
and.<br />
i also couldn't ignore the thought of,<br />
how far my sisters are,<br />
and how precious the old times are,<br />
and how little i appreciated things back then,<br />
and how time never stop for a single being,<br />
and how kind and sweet Allah is.<br />
<br />
conclusion is : contentment and true happiness are often found when you stop chasing the world. For, the world will come to those who doesn't chase after it and only then, will your heart be filled with ease.<br />
<br />
sorry if this doesn't make sense to you but i have been told that i am pretty complicated and not many people understand the way i deliver things but then again, i only live to please my Almighty Creator and this, is my lair of thoughts.<br />
<br /></div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-62718608905023708082013-10-20T03:05:00.001-07:002013-10-20T08:02:00.733-07:00gone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
it has been going on for a while.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
This might just be a fluke. something temporary.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yet, i wonder what exactly would happen if this goes on.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
It seems like many things has changed for me throughout this past few weeks or maybe months. Maybe it's just that phase of being a teenager where you get the experience to ride on a different roller coaster. tch.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
the things i liked in the past, has suddenly turned dull to me.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
the things that i disliked and avoided from the past suddenly becomes a ray of light in my eyes.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
it's frightening.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Maybe, i'm still a rookie in this whole "no matter what life throws at you, keep moving". Yet I believe there has to be a reason for all this events that has happened. In my past and the current time.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
lately though, one other thing has been bothering me.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
I feel like as strange as this might sounds, my emotions are freezing up.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
My enthusiasm is hard to grasp and reach. I don't know what i truly like anymore.</div>
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The presence of humans around me gets on my nerves easily.</div>
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I tend to avoid people when i get the opportunity.</div>
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Ah, i am an introvert but it has never been this bad.</div>
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Yet, when i'm around people, i seem to be completely fine. completely contented. Am i?</div>
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there's something i have yet to understand regarding myself.</div>
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I need to get ahead of this game.</div>
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A game where only i can win or lose.</div>
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<br /></div>
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it has been going on for too long.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
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yet again, uncertainties are lurking everywhere that even i, find it </div>
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intimidating.</div>
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-64605796775603038952013-10-01T04:12:00.001-07:002014-01-30T16:08:16.349-08:00Fascinating<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i was never the type who enjoys being in a crowd,<br />
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being a claustrophobic is a pain.</div>
<div>
being an introvert is another thing.</div>
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<br /></div>
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yet, whenever i got caught in a situation which involves being in the company of a huge number of people, the same thoughts always cross my mind.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM46Z9iAnOSFAfi7FsPWQyVUvbNKomlh0ZWNxGTDXLKuYIIF1xcS00_nlVJNpj-0n-2XUXjG61vBox0v8gYrgmdfrn-XbvoNnhyphenhyphenRh2XHWQ4mTpP9Klyt0dgSjE1C4uVFJ_5CRU-HaOReE-/s1600/tumblr_mbz7mjOjdA1qfhy97o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM46Z9iAnOSFAfi7FsPWQyVUvbNKomlh0ZWNxGTDXLKuYIIF1xcS00_nlVJNpj-0n-2XUXjG61vBox0v8gYrgmdfrn-XbvoNnhyphenhyphenRh2XHWQ4mTpP9Klyt0dgSjE1C4uVFJ_5CRU-HaOReE-/s640/tumblr_mbz7mjOjdA1qfhy97o1_500.jpg" height="427" width="640" /></a>Looking around, </div>
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everyone around me seems so different, so unique.</div>
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"fascinating"</div>
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i said to myself.</div>
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<br /></div>
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it's interesting how no one is exactly similar to the other. even twins have their differences.</div>
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That's just how amazing my Creator is.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
but then again,</div>
<div>
the same thoughts passed my mind today.</div>
<div>
While standing in the hall during assembly among my friends,</div>
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while leaning against the wall at the stairs during the evening, waiting for my sister to pick me up.</div>
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All i need to do is to look around, and i could see one person walking towards the park, a kid jumping happily in front of An Nadiya, a boy sitting on a chair, a mom carrying her baby and many other activities by different individuals that i couldn't possibly keep note of them all. Everyone seems to have their own program. Their own story. Nothing they do is the same. Every one second, someone would do something. Even when you're in class with your friends, listening to the same teacher teaching in front, copying down the same thing from the whiteboard to your notebook, your actions and thoughts still in a sense differ from your friends. </div>
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Every single time,</div>
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i would thought to myself.</div>
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"what would this people be in the future?"</div>
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"what is their story?"</div>
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"what are they actually going through?"</div>
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"what kind of path would they tread on the future?"</div>
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"what are they thinking right now?"</div>
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<br /></div>
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once in my life, i wished i could mind read. It would save me so much thoughts haha.</div>
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Although now, i would re think that wish of mine coz well, it does have its consequences...</div>
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-64203351122179834082013-08-20T03:42:00.001-07:002013-08-20T04:01:22.218-07:0011 minutes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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11 minutes might not sound grand to your ears.</div>
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You might just brush it off.</div>
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the "It's just 11 minutes" thoughts might pass through your mind but hey, it doesn't matter if it's 11 minutes, 11 seconds or 11 hours, all those times are valuable and can never be extricated back from the past. unretrievable.</div>
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Today during our Tahfiz session, our lovely sis Humaira' told us to write a short story based on "11 minutes". so i did. I wrote a story about this cancerous girl who reverted to Islam and she wrote her story down on her last 11 minutes on this earth. </div>
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Sitting in the class afterwards, other thoughts came too my mind. Thoughts about how humans always takes things for granted. We love indulging ourselves with happy thoughts to the point where we become ignorant. We hate problems, we despise conflicts, we loath hardships. Conclusion? We are one selfish bunch.</div>
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Are we part of that bunch? Am I part of that bunch?</div>
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Let's strive to not be in one yeah? :)</div>
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All the people who are suffering right now, imagine how the felt when they remembered those golden times where every day they wake up without any new bandages on their bodies, they can go to school and work peacefully, eat dinner with their beloved ones, spent eid merrily with their family and friends and basically live a peaceful life.</div>
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<br /></div>
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If a machine was created that can enable someone to go back to their best times for 11 minutes, i'm sure many people would gladly accept the machine despite the duration of time being only 11 minutes. Time is too precious. Time flies at a different speed for people in different situations. When you're happy, time flew by but when you're sad, time seems to be crawling by. Every second aches.</div>
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That's just it. There's nothing we can do.</div>
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Time is irreversible.</div>
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Be grateful for what you have.</div>
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On the side note, let's keep praying for our brothers and sisters who are fighting for us out there yeah? that's the LEAST we can do. Spread awareness, show your support. they're our family for shouting out loud. Can you be happy seeing your family members massacred in front of you? if you're happy with the situation, then i'm sorry. I'm sorry that you lost your humanity. Awfully sorry.<br />
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My heart goes to my brothers and sisters in Palestine, Syria, Rohingya, Egypt and all over the world that i have never heard of or met. Just know that you are my family. Your pain is my pain. I might be smiling and laughing over here, but a hidden pain lies underneath the facade. It can never be the same knowing that people i care for are killed on daily basis. My prayers goes to you every single day. Thank you for being strong for us who couldn't even wipe your tears while you're suffering. Our heart aches for you.</div>
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#R4BIA</div>
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#Pray4Egypt</div>
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#SavePalestine</div>
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#SaveSyria</div>
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#Save Rohingya</div>
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#SaveHumanity<br />
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-61189112704655780932013-08-11T09:51:00.004-07:002013-08-24T05:26:18.528-07:00same yet not quite<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This year's raya has been very very memorable for me.</div>
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I guess coz my my sisters has both gotten married, hv their own house, got work and all, </div>
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my family were most times separated. Thus the reason why I get so happy when all of my family members are under one roof. like seriously happy though i don't really express it hahah.</div>
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So since it's raya and all, my angah and bro in law came all the way from Kelantan to our lil cozy house.</div>
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Meaning :</div>
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My family was complete!</div>
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everyone was there.</div>
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including the newest addition, baby Syifa' :')</div>
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i can just cry happily.</div>
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Sadly, i just sent my angah back to Kelantan few hours ago. she's a doctor now. have to work. everyone's busy now. bro in law dah balik semalam. one n only nephew and other bro in law not at home. The spell has broken.</div>
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Yet that's not the point of this blog post.</div>
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Yesterday i get to sleep with my angah and along like old times, ate at the same table with all three there and them without their husbands lol. just eating happily. me being the idk how to express kid just sat there being weird yet deep inside, i missed those moments. those old times, when my sisters were still single haha. those old times when they would come back home and just do what a typical family does. laze around, watch tv, eat dinner together, spent time outside together. Not that i'm being bitter, but yesterday and today, i realised something important.</div>
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eating with them at the same table felt the same as old times yet clearly it's not the same. Things has changed.</div>
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We all changed. I have accepted that fact ages ago.</div>
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Alhamdulillah.</div>
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I wouldn't change anything. I'm happy for the fact that both of my sisters has found someone who would love and take care of them better than i will. They are happy. That's all i need to know. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I may not be the best younger sister. I may be a weird grumpy kid most of the times but it's just because i don't really know how to express myself when i'm with my family. That's just me. I wish i'm better at those things but hey, i love them and that's all that matters.</div>
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Anyways, one of the highlights of this year's raya is me, my angah and abangah (bro in law), hang out at klcc on the night of the 1st day of the raya! ahaha we thought it's gonna be empty. they treated me coffee bean's choc cake and hazelnut milkshake. yummers ;) roamed around searching for a lift haha and had laughing fits with those two kids. i swear, they're like kids *indirectly saying they're cute* lol. it was great. I don't get much time to spend time with them so getting to spend time with them on that day was marvellous. Alhamdulillah. </div>
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and not to forget my never ending love towards my relatives<3 they made my raya complete man. Without them, raya would be dull. It ain't the same. I'm grateful that i have awesome chilling hilarious though kinda weird cousins ahah. i didn't just typed "weird". pfft. Weird means unique. awesomeness<3<br />
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well you see, i'm not exactly comfortable with letting the world *bajet famous* see my pics. sikit sikit boleh la. so here you goooo. let the rest stay in my heart, mind and laptop.<br />
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ps. amazingly the song peter pan kinda fit this post so ya. i translate songs into my life. deal with it (y)</div>
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-64637219791201639062013-07-08T04:12:00.001-07:002013-07-08T04:12:22.310-07:00Masalah remaja<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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apa masalah saya.</div>
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apa masalah awak.</div>
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apa masalah ummah.</div>
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bermasalah sangat ke?</div>
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jangan jaga tepi kain orang boleh? kubur nanti asing asing.</div>
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suka hati aku la. hidup aku.</div>
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alah, hidup ini sementara, enjoy ah.</div>
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muda muda ni aku nak enjoy. umur akur panjang lagi. tua nanti aku taubat la.</div>
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Will we still act the way we're acting now if we know about the real meaning of this life. If we know about what will face once death decides to visit us. If we know about the real terrors of the azab in the akhirah that Allah has promises for those who strays from His path and the ni'mat that Allah has promised for those who are righteous? Will we?<div>
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seandainya kita tahu hakikat yang sebenar, adakah kita akan kekal seperti hari ini?</div>
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Take and analyse the message from Surah Al Asr.</div>
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"Demi Masa"</div>
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"Sesungguhnya manusia itu berada di dalam kerugian"</div>
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"kecuali mereka yang beriman dan melakukan amalan soleh dan menasihat nasihati ke arah kebenaran dan menasihat nasihati ke arah kesabaran"</div>
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Tbh, everytime i read that surah, i feel sad. incredibly sad and ashamed. segan. It's one of the most frequent surah recited by us i believe. Yet, have we ever take the essence of the message that lies in the surah?</div>
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The surah tells us to use the time we have to:</div>
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1. get closer to Allah the Almighty</div>
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2. Do good deeds</div>
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3. Advice others towards the better. Da'wah to society. </div>
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4. Advice others to be patient. Be patient for only the patient ones will win.</div>
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5. Don't waste your time with things that doesn't benefit you! </div>
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You may interpret the surah in your own unique way but the main core of this surah is basically our life is meaningless, useless, unless we live righteously according to Islam. </div>
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Do we want to be part of those whose life are pointless in this world?</div>
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No. </div>
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The message is simple, use the time you have wisely.</div>
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Death can come anywhere.</div>
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The graves are full with people who wished they do more ibadah and do more good deeds when they were still alive.</div>
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Open the news and you'll see death of young people, old people, people your age. None but Allah knows when our death will be. No one can predict their own death. Siapa kata orang muda tak boleh mati muda? ada je. ada. That's reality. It's up to us now. It's up to us to use the time we have to it's best extend.</div>
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Remember Rasulullah's advice :</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><b>"Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><b> your youth, before you become old; </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><b> and your health, before you fall sick;</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><b> and your richness, before you become poor; </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><b> and your free time before you become busy; </b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><b> and your life, before your death"</b></span></div>
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-28287762691533544892013-06-29T01:45:00.000-07:002013-07-07T08:25:12.230-07:00The glory of the last ummah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #674ea7;">it's a common knowledge among muslims to know that the ummah living on earth right now is the last ummah and ultimately the best ummah. the last ummah yet the 1st ummah to enter paradise. The ummah of Prohet Muhammad saw.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7;">As one of them, we should all be enlightened by that knowledge and strive for the better in this world and hereafter.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"> You see, even Prophet Moses a.s wants to a part of the ummah of Prohet Muhammad saw.</span></div>
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Prophet Moses a.s said "<span style="color: #a64d79;">My lord! I find in the Tablets (Torah) the mention of an Ummah that is the best Ummah ever evolved for the guidance of mankind, who enjoins good and forbids wrong. My Lord! Make them my Ummah</span>." Allah said: "<span style="color: #3d85c6;">They are the Ummah of Ahmad</span>."</div>
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He said again: "<span style="color: #a64d79;">My Lord! I find in the Tablets the mention of an Ummah whose Scriptures are in their chest which they recite. Those who were before them, could only read their Book by looking in them, and when they close their Book could not read it, nor know it. They are capable of memorising it which no people of the past could do it. My Lord make them my Ummah</span>." Allah said: "<span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7;">They are the Ummah of Ahmad.</span>"<br />
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Then he said: "<span style="color: #a64d79;">My Lord! I find in the Tablets the mention of an Ummah who believe in the First Book and in the last Book. They fight against misguidance, till they fight the greater liar of one-eyed (Dajjal), My Lord! Make them my Ummah</span>." Allah said: <span style="color: #3d85c6;">They are the Ummah of Ahmad</span>."</div>
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Once again, he said: "<span style="color: #a64d79;">My Lord! I find in the Tablets the mention of an Ummah who could eat their charity, and can still be rewarded. But before them, when other people gave something in charity, and it was accepted. Allah sent a fire which consumed it, and if it was left, it was eaten by predators and wild birds. And this charity is designed to be taken from their rich to their poor. My Lord! Make them my Ummah.</span>" Allah said: "<span style="color: #674ea7;">They are the Ummah of Ahmad</span>."</div>
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Then Prophet Moses a.s said: "<span style="color: #a64d79;">My Lord! My Lord! I find in the Tablets the mention of an Ummah, if one of them had an intention to do good, and he could not do it, he will still get the reward of ten to seven hundred folds. My Lord! Make them my Ummah</span>." Allah said: "<span style="color: #3d85c6;">They are the Ummah of Ahmad</span>."</div>
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Prophet Moses a.s said: "<span style="color: #a64d79;">My Lord! I find in the Tablets the mention of an Ummah who could intercede, and for whom intercession had been made. My Lord! Make them my Ummah</span>." Allah said: "<span style="color: #674ea7;">They are the Ummah of Ahmad.</span>"</div>
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Prophet Moses a.s then said: "<span style="color: #0b5394;">O Allah! Make me from the Ummah of Ahmad</span>."<br />
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Mashaallah =)<br />
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-52386536701863141532013-04-29T07:24:00.001-07:002013-04-29T07:26:05.868-07:00Mixed feelings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Always happens to me.<br />
That moment when a sudden burst of emotions goes through you mind and soul without any notice.<br />
For what? even i'm not sure.<br />
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Good or bad? Maybe both.<br />
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-79148544844829341042013-04-13T08:34:00.002-07:002013-04-13T08:37:32.417-07:00Very interesting<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's interesting how we are all so different yet somehow friendships are formed.<br />
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Friendship is a beautiful thing indeed and knowing that you and your friends are each completely different from each other despite some similarities yet even those similarities slightly differ.<br />
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Amusing isn't it?<br />
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or maybe it's just me.<br />
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I have been moving from places to places a LOT ever since at a young age. Met many interesting people. Form friendships with many different individuals and created many precious memories Alhamdulillah :')<br />
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Guess what, those differences in each individuals are what made all this relationships that exist in this world interesting. We're all different personas yet somehow those are what tied us together. Ever thought of how you became friends with some people? The bonds may have been created in the beginning because of the few similarities you discovered but in the end, arguments will come up and problems may happen which may destroy the bond formed, but later on, when the grey cloud drifts away, the knot became stronger, and only then will the friendship be forever cherished or it might as well be a lesson for us and loosen the knot but you know something? everything happens for a reason and life has to go on!<br />
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Ever simply walked through a public place like the mall and observed the individuals around you and thought of what they were thinking at the moment or if they're happy with their life or whether they are happy or sad or what they will think of about certain issues or what's their favorite color?<br />
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It's just mildly interesting you know, i would love to go to a random person and have a nice chat and get to know them but i guess i just don't have the guts hahah<br />
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I once thought of becoming a psychologist coz i wanted to understand humans but after thinking it through, I would rather be an astronomer but who knows what life has for me ay ;)<br />
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Maybe it's because of the fact that i find humans interesting because of their variations that i find helping a random person or doing a good deed for a purely good reason is fun coz it's nice to see someone smiling sincerely at you even though they don't know anything about you. Not sure if that's creepy for some people who cares (y)<br />
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-74750078867046148012013-03-18T07:37:00.002-07:002013-03-18T07:45:41.517-07:00KDU 2013<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Presenting, Dato' CQ Teo debate challenge 2013! *applause* </div>
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Honestly for me, this experience is a bit strange coz the people i'm used to being with in debating competitions are no longer with me but on the bright side, i had an awesome team comprised of my juniors Eri and Alqays. Thanks guys for bearing with me throughout the whole tourney. Thank you for being awesome lol. Let's do better next comp ay :) and also thank you kamalia for always being by my side whenever i need support, i love you triplet :') thank you fakhry and rizal for motivating us by your visit. Thank you fattah for having confidence in us. Thank you sir fauzi and pn. azizah for having faith in us. Thank you Sir Rahman for staying with us.Thank you affan for just being there haha. Thank you fellow debaters for making this tourney a memorable one (You know who you are! right?) :)</div>
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This is random, but my juniors forced me to watch Last Exorcism 2 at The Curve and believe me, that will be my 1st and last time watching a creepy gory disgusting weird etc etc. movie at a cinema coz 1) you can't really not see the screen so you just have to watch it most of the time and 2) the sound is too loud lol. Thanks, Amirah, Eri, Alqays and Sir Rahman for that horrifying experience :P</div>
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Some of Sri Ayesha's future debaters and Rizal at the back lol</div>
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Affan admiring Eri HAHA<br />
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My little assistant Amirah. A great future debater in the making :)</div>
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Oh meet Eri's parrot xD the parrot loves us ya know, it became so lively when we're around hahah</div>
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Everyone's tired faces after 4 rounds of debating<br />
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The Hamidian's being random while waiting for i don't remember what<br />
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One of the best kuey teow ever! Banyak gila and i finished it all :P</div>
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AND HERE'S OUR GROUP PHOTOS :D *if any you debaters thinks you should be in the pic, you may edit yourself in as naturally as you can*</div>
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Alhamdulillah.</div>
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Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-10954687881620260252013-03-06T03:13:00.001-08:002013-03-06T03:15:45.915-08:00Da'wah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Really. What is da'wah?<br />
<br />
is it like giving advices like we usually do?<br />
is it those tazkirah they do after prayers at the mosque?<br />
is it all those islamic forums they held?<br />
is it the 30 min ustaz Don they showed on tv Al Hijrah?<br />
is it those motivations we always hear at IKIM.fm?<br />
is it those islamic songs we hear on the radio?<br />
<br />
ladies and gentleman, the answer for all i stated above is yes.<br />
<br />
Da'wah was never made to be put in a little box.<br />
Da'wah can in any form, any way.<br />
Da'wah is not simply listening to people preaching. No.<br />
<br />
Da'wah can be in the form of your attire.<br />
The way you talk.<br />
The way you crack up jokes.<br />
The way you interact with others.<br />
They way you eat.<br />
The way you sleep even.<br />
The contents you tweet on twitter.<br />
The pictures you reblogged on tumblr.<br />
The way you vlog on youTube.<br />
<br />
yada yada yada.<br />
<br />
Be creative ya ikhwah.<br />
<br />
If you think you're not fit enough or feel as if the burden is too much for you to da'wah to others then okay. Here's my advice, i'm not a scholar or anything. I do know one thing though, all of as muslims have responsibilities to spread and deliver the beautiful message of Islam to others.Yes. We don't have all the knowledge about Islam yet but is that an excuse?<br />
<br />
Let me give you a story.<br />
In a normal school in a non muslim country lies a young boy.<br />
So in his school, there's a couple of muslimah wearing hijab and covering their aurah.<br />
<br />
As years past, as non muslim girls start wearing more daring and striking stuff,<br />
the muslimah's on contrary, covered up even more.<br />
<br />
The boy was fascinated. He looked up about Islam. He discovered the beauty of Islam. He reverted to Islam. Until today, the reason why he reverted to Islam is because of those young muslimah's who never even talked to this boy. They probably don't even know him yet, they manage to unconciously da'wah to that guy thus reverting him to the straight path Masha Allah :')<br />
<br />
See now,<br />
it's so simple.<br />
<br />
Wanna make it easier?<br />
follow our prohet Muhammad's example :')<br />
everything he does is for our benefit, for us to follow. The ultimate guide.<br />
<br />
You may not be spreading Islam verbally BUT through your actions.<br />
Da'wah can be in any form.<br />
Remember that.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4492317355142191516.post-84954170776528883832013-01-07T06:42:00.001-08:002013-01-17T07:40:31.991-08:00I promise<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here's the deal,<br />
each of us were born with different specialties and we are all very blessed.<br />
Some of you may say that you don't have any specialties at all but you know what, that's a lame thing to say.<br />
Maybe RIGHT NOW you don't really see what you're good at and stuff but later, one day or maybe tomorrow InshaAllah, you'll see it. You never know right?<br />
Anyways whatever we were born with, we should be grateful for it, be grateful, Alhamdulillah.<br />
<br />
You see,<br />
I have 4 siblings and Alhamdulillah (lol) I was born the youngest of em all.<br />
Tbh, the age gap is quite huge too :( but ahhwell, Alhamdulillah :)<br />
So above me, in a 9 year gap, I have a brother. A special brother if I may say.<br />
He was born special. He wasn't like other guys his age. He couldn't really do some stuff most kids and guys do which are considered normal and which are taken for granted by people who were born perfect and by perfect I meant they don't have any problems with their legs or ears or whatever InshaAllah.<br />
Even though, ya, my brother isn't like others, he's special.<br />
Allah SWT is very very kind and fair.<br />
He gives my brother a strong memory and the talent to draw.<br />
Like mannn he even sold his drawings and once, his paintings were hung in Balai Seni ._.<br />
and me? lol I have no talent at ALL in drawing or art or anything related to that HAHA.<br />
<br />
See, Allah SWT is very kind and fair MashaAllah.<br />
<br />
Our rooms as in my my room and my brother's are located right beside the other.<br />
So we can basically shout at each other from our room but no we never do that coz my brother can't shout :p<br />
<br />
I always considered it kind of strange how we came from the same family, same bloodline and all, we live in the same house, rooms right beside each other and yet, yet..<br />
<br />
we live a different life.<br />
<br />
Now,<br />
I go to school, he stays in his room.<br />
I go out with my friends, he stays in his room.<br />
I play outside, he stays in his room.<br />
I chat with my parents downstairs, he stays in his room.<br />
<br />
He draws in his room, I surf the internet.<br />
He plays on his tab, I do my homeworks.<br />
He can sit and sleep all he wants, I have lots of things to settle.<br />
<br />
I can run easily, he struggles to walk.<br />
I play sports and stuff, he chills at home.<br />
I talk super loud with my friends, he use sign language with his friends.<br />
I debate, he can't.<br />
I read the words in the books, he looks at the pictures.<br />
I prefer to write, he prefers to draw.<br />
I like colors, he likes black and white.<br />
<br />
Really, our life in a way is very different yet at the same time we do have similarities.<br />
Yet, people like him, they are very lucky.<br />
My brother is deaf.<br />
Can you imagine how much sins he avoids every day? Ya Allah.<br />
<br />
I used to argue and have those mini i hate you moments with him because despite his differences, we're still siblings and no matter what happens, we still have the energy to argue especially when i were a kid lol. Now, as time passed, i realised that he's way luckier than i am. I realised how much I love that guy who is gradually becoming shorter than me as days past heheheheh.<br />
<br />
Sadly though,we rarely see each other especially on school days even though our rooms are like right beside each other.<br />
<br />
We understand each other. We can communicate with each other by our own special way haha. We know what the other one likes. We usually share snacks with each other when we have snacks haha coz we both love unhealthy food. We have this unique way of taking care of each other. Everytime he sees and checks on me, he'll ask me by sign language, " have you ate? have you prayed? " i used to get annoyed by that coz he usually randomly comes into my room and ask me that but now, I understands and appreciate that. Maybe that's his way of showing his care to me. Maybe that's his way of communicating with me. I swear, he's the nicest brother anyone can ever wish for.<br />
<br />
He used to tidy up my room.<br />
He lets me use his bag.<br />
He lets me take his laptop even though I know he wants it back real badly.<br />
Everytime I get mad and emo ish to him, he didn't do anything.<br />
He used to buy magazines and comics for me.<br />
<br />
and when I went to a camp for the 1st time and came home safely, he was the most excited one to see me home.<br />
<br />
Allah is kind.<br />
<br />
Allah is fair.<br />
<br />
We still have our moments now and then.<br />
Like when my dad decides to take us out,<br />
we can still laugh together,<br />
I still play pranks on him,<br />
like how I usually appears out of nowhere and dash into to the toilet before him LOL.<br />
<br />
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that I'm one of the few people on this earth, who can make jokes and laugh at his antiques and understands him without needing to utter any word at all.<br />
<br />
I love him and no matter what others say, no matter how our times together seems to have lessen nowadays, I'll always be behind his back.<br />
<br />
When I get older and when my parents are too old to take care of him.<br />
<br />
I will. I promise. InshaAllah if I'm still alive.<br />
<br />
I'm writing this here in my blog,<br />
to remind me,<br />
about all the blessings Allah SWT has given me,<br />
about how everything happens for a reason,<br />
how kind and fair Allah SWT is,<br />
how I should be grateful for every single thing,<br />
<br />
and<br />
<br />
to remind me about this promise I made.<br />
<br />
One day, when I get older,<br />
when my parents get older,<br />
when my brother gets older,<br />
<br />
I have a responsibility to make.<br />
<br />
the promise I made.<br />
<br />
InshaAllah.<br />
<br />
<i>I promise.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Maryam Khairuddinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11917974618415359276noreply@blogger.com1