Marriage and New Year

Pretty right ? ;)

Yesterday , on the LAST day of 2011 . My sister is finally married to a certain guy from Kelantan called Fikri .

This marriage was kinda prepared in the last minute BUT we managed .

It's not a big kenduri kahwin , it's just akad nikah and we invited like 300-400 people only -.-

Everything goes well ~ Alhamdulillah .

Hey , even Shamsul Ghau Ghau came xD lol honestly , I didn't know who in the world is that guy at first until my cousins pointed it out for me but I still didn't know who that guy is ... and only after I googled it did I know xD 

NOW , both of my sisters are no longer single :( during the process of akad nikah .. I kinda got the watery eye thingy >< Idk , I just felt .. this feeling of sadness ? or I was just too happy at that moment ? I didn't cry though . yayyy ;) I'm so happy for my sister .

Kay , I just need to say this . Whenever an event is held at my house MY room will become a huge messy mess ^^" how nice .. since I hv aloot of girl cousins than boys , all the girls and kids tend to hang out in MY room and the kids will play in MY room resulting in a huge tornado of mess ^^" *applause*

In the end .. I will be the one who will clean the mess ^^" tcchhh . 

Today , I still felt a lil bit tired after yesterday's event . Since I'm NOT the one getting married , I hv to help do the preparations and it's extremely tiring esp . when you hv loadss of preparations to do to prepare to create the  PERFECT wedding for my sis . Oh joy .. 

The fun thing about my sis getting married is that after people left , I got to eat ALL the cakes and desserts. hah . xD

Seeing my sister getting married make me hope that one day I will meet my jodoh that Allah has set for me ;) and before THAT day , I will just focus on my studies and making myself a better person . Of course , being a teenager makes it harder to ignore all those godaan out there . Teenage couples are literally everywhere -.-" sometimes , even I wish that I hv  a boyfriend though it's just like a few seconds thought and it just vanished coz I know .. that it's HARAM and it doesn't benefit me in any ways at all :) 

and .. HAPPY NEW YEAR and may ALLAH bless you all :D 

I'm excited to see what 2012 has to offer me and I'm sad to say .. Goodbye 2011 ,  thank you for making me a better person than before .

 Thank you  for all the wonders and colours you created in my life .  

Thank you for giving me those obstacles to face coz THAT has make me stronger than before ;)

Thank you for letting me meet all those grand people out there .

Thank you for giving me new experiences that will no doubt be useful in my future .

THANK YOU .

BRING IT ON

Mr . PMR is waiting for me :)

Morning .

Assalamualaikum & a extra GOOD morning for all of you out there ;)

Today , I have loads of things to do . Well , more like have I loads of assignments to do x) assigned by both my mom & sister . How nice of them aye ~

Therefore , because of those assignments .. I decided to wake up early today & NOT sleep after Subuh .

It's a actually a bad habit . Sleeping after Subuh that is . It's just that sometimes , my soft comfy & tempting bed gets the best of me despite how hard I try to stay awake and Syaitan .. wins again & again . Bet they are laughing over how much I'm missing by sleeping in the morning .

BUT today ~ I win :) I WIN . hah . In your face losers . x)

Waking up in the morning make me realized how stupid I am to not wake up early before .
The cool , crisp morning air makes me relaxed and it seems as if I can do anything & everything will be fine ;)

It's amazing really .. what waking up in the morning can do to you when compared to waking up in the afternoons or  late evenings .

Most of the time , when I woke up late , I have this feeling of confusion & irritation plus headaches .
Believe me .. it's NOT a good feeling at all . Waking up in the mornings are way way better ;)

I felt like I had wasted my holidays by waking up late . I wish .. I can turn back the time so that I could make use of my free times more efficiently though that is .. well .. impossible .

 Guess this is a lesson to me from Allah aye ~ telling me that I shouldn't waste my time with meaningless things anymore & start doing meaningful things esp . since school will be starting in a few more days and I will have to force myself to get use to waking up early everyday and follow the schedules that will be given to me . Let's just hope that everything goes fine next year :)

Nevertheless , I'm very grateful for everything so far . My life in 2011 are not as bad compared to others .I had my ups & downs . I met new people . Made new friends . Made more memories . Gain more experience in various activities and most importantly I became a debator :)

Thank you 2011 for all the amazingness that you have given to me . I have become a stronger & better person because of you .
 Thank you . For everything . Alhamdulillah .

I'm super grateful for everything .

Thank you for still allowing me to be alive & breathe the morning air again today Ya Allah .
I will try to become a better Muslimah & to be grateful for every breathe of air that I'm inhaling right now .

Thank you ~

Wandering around

I felt like I had been doing nothing this past few days .
Sickness was a part of the reason but I have seen a lot of sick people doing meaningful things out there even though it kills them .

Me .. what am I doing ? just wandering around thinking I have done enough though in reality I am still in the same spot . Unmoved . Moving in the same circle .

A lot of times , I felt envy seeing all those people out there who are far greater than I am . Accomplished . Know what they are doing . Have their own goals . Moving forward.

I hate moving in circles .
It pains me , gives me headaches .
Seeing the same thing , doing the same thing .
Yet I'm not doing any effort in getting out of the circle .

I want to be someone who are deemed as great by others . Someone who is considered an amazing person and respected by all . Someone whom haters can never bring down . Someone like that .

Yet , to be someone like that take a long time to accomplish .

I don't even know what my ambition is .

I have once been scolded for this single sentence . " I don't know "
coz I kept on saying that when people ask me a question .
Sometimes , I was saying that sentence out of honesty that I didn't know the answer for the question but there are times when I was just being a lazybum to answer the question ><
Yet what am I suppose to do ? Ban that word from my mouth ?

I love to know things but I didn't put enough effort in knowing things . I realized now . THAT is one of my flaws.

I don't even know the main point of my post this time .
To tell the world I'm moving in circles ? I don't hv any ambition ? that I'm dumb ?
It felt like I'm just blurting out what my heart is feeling right now as cheesy as that sounds .

Maybe someday .. I will finally do something that will get me out of the tortures of this circle .
Maybe someday .. I will move forward joining all those people who knows their mission and know how to accomplish it .
Someday ..

I wish .. that day will come sooner coz there's one thing about me that people should know . I hate waiting . As patient as I can be , deep inside . I still hate waiting .

I felt like I'm in a tunnel .
Lost in the darkness not knowing when the sunshine gonna show , not knowing where the end of the tunnel leads to . Stumbling yet still moving . The more I fell , the stronger I became . Steadier . Calmer . Confident .
Still searching . Searching for the light that marks the end of the tunnel .

Maybe .. one day .. someday .. later .. I will find that light and finally get out of that damn circle .

Maybe ..

Negative thoughts

I hate it when people assume things about me when they don't even know who I really am .


I admit , I'm too skinny -.- well uh .. that's what some people said I am though I honestly think I am healthy enough -.-
and.. most of the time I only eat when I'm hungry :P 
Sometimes I just have no appetite to eat so I will not eat .
There are times when I do eat , but nobody saw me so people will start assuming that I'm on a diet whatsoever .


Honestly , at first I'm COOL with the idea but as it keeps on being mentioned it gets annoying .

I'm the type of person who tends to eat alooooot when I go out somewhere or do some outdoor activities . I can practically eat 3 plates of rice if I want too :3 BUT when I only stay at home I felt like I have no reason at all to eat . hah . Such I weirdo I am . I still eat though but not so much . 


Actually , I had just recovered from Gastrik which I got during my stay in Saudi . Sure , Saudi have good food but I am a picky eater . I live there for 1 year an I got bored of the food over there in just 3 months :3 ngeheee
Therefore , my mom will cook for me but the weird thing about me is that I dislike rice . In dislike , I mean that I do eat rice but I don't really like it . As Malaysians , we eat rice everyday . In the world of Maryam , rice gets boring everyday . Trolololol :3 I dunno , sometimes , I even gets bored of school and feel the urge of skipping a day xP Meh ~ that happens to every student LOL .


Anyways , yea .. 
I completely despise it when somebody accuse me of things that I'm not doing and have NO effing intentions to do .
A creature from earth start talking to me about how teenagers nowadays are obsessed about their looks and figure that they start to diet and even to the extend of anorexic =.= pretty dumb if you ask me :P
I just nodded and SMILE patiently wondering WHY in the world is this person talking bout that to me for .
Then the person asked me if I'm on a diet and I was like =.= tchhh .. 
True , the question is NOTHING to be bothered about , but it irritates me aloooot and even I don't know why.


You know what guys , it is absolutely NOT nice to accuse or assume people of things that you're not sure of . 50% are your predictions is true and 50% are YOU'RE WRONG ! besides , it is a sin to think of bad things about others when you don't even know the real truth behind the person's actions.


You never know what others are thinking . They may be smiling and acting like they don't care bout it but deep inside , they are angry or sad over what you're saying to them . You may think that what you're asking or telling them is nothing but you actually hurt that person's feeling without even knowing . Conclusion is , just keep your mouth shut .


That's why folks , we must always be optimistic and always look at the bright side of things and IF you're curious of the a certain person's actions , ASK them or just ignore it and simply think that the person know what he/she is doing and there must be a meaning or explanation behind the action ~

Just keep swimming

Yes . Just keep swimming , fight the strong waves , go forth , don't look back , keep swimming.

Let's make each day a meaningful day so that one day when we look back about our past , we can smile , satisfied , no regrets ;)

We live in a society where people tend to judge others by their looks without knowing their story causing others who has been misjudged to be looked down even though they did nothing wrong leading them to depression , sadness and when they can't face it anymore , suicide .  

The harsh judgements of society causes some teenagers to run away from them by drugs , smoking , alcohol , which in the end will harm themselves . Some are scared of revealing their true selves , afraid of the society . therefore put on a mask , pretending they are someone who they aren't which in the end will not result into something they want instead they will be pushed down a darker hole full of unhappiness .

Though society can kill the teenagers , there's also a part which is not tainted by the cruelness and darkness of the rest . That part where you can only find if you open your eyes and look around . You'll notice those people that cared for you , those people that love you for who you are , those people who knows about the real you . Those people that actually have a heart .

Be thankful for the bad things in your life , for they open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before ,

REMEMBER :

NEVER stop moving forward . 

From now on ,  wake up in the morning with a smile and be grateful that you are still alive in this beautiful world . No matter what is waiting for you , just face it . Be brave . Nothing good will come by running away . Absolutely nothing. Whenever you're feeling down ,stop whatever you're doing for a few minutes , calm down , relax your mind , breathe in breathe out , everything's gonna be okay ;) Never let the dark side get you ~

 and guess what ?

'

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:D 

Torned

Right now I'm torned .


This challenge which I never expect to happen .


My heart feels like it's torned .


I know what's right but at the same time I wanted to feel what it feels like to be like other kids around my age who doesn't need to worry about how they will need to catch up all the 1 year and half studies for pmr .


My cousins had told me for a long time already that they will go to Langkawi for vacation . Nearly all of my beloved cousins will be going and I knew ..
I already made up my mind that I will not go for the sake of attending the tuitions at my school for pmr coz I know that unlike other students I have to work even harder. I know that I can do it, it's just the matter of  wether I'm strong enough to withstand all those challenges out there inviting me to forget about pmr and simply have fun as though nothing is wrong.


Today , my cousins came to pick up my other cousins at my house to go to Langkawi tomorrow . 
Once they came , I felt this urge to go with them esp. since it has been a long time since I spend time with them.
I felt this sudden sadness in myself when I realized I couldn't and shouldn't go .
I remain strong to my stand until my cousins started to talk to me about the vacation. They invited me once again.
I was torned.
My parents told me that I already went to Langkawi countless of times before so it's not worth it.
I knew bout that but .. that's different . I never went there with my cousins . Never .
My parents then said that I have a lot of things to catch up to and those tuitions are my golden chance to catch up with all those studies.
True . Despite my torned heart at than time, deep in my heart I knew that all that my parents said is true .
It's just that ..
the thought of spending time with beloved cousins, having fun , no books, was too much for me.


My cousins persuaded me to come along . I wanted to but at the same time I can't .


They left after telling me they will set off to Langkawi tomorrow night and I can give my answer next morning.


When they left , I couldn't bear to see them leave coz I knew .. I knew beforehand what my decisions will be.
I will stay . Stay home and attend the tuitions. I have a goal . My goal is to achieve 9A's in PMR . 
If I went to Langkawi with them , I'll no doubt have fun , but later .. when I got home what will happen ?
I will miss 3 days of tuitions. 3 days in which I could learn so much .


Shamefully , I admit . I cried . I cried my heart out in my room . Alone.
Some of you may think that the reason to why I was crying is completely childish or immatured or I was just being to emotional but ... whatever you say , it was hard for me . By crying , at least I got rid of some of those sadness in myself . Better than pretending to be strong and keeping all those sadness inside until one day it'll explode .


Afterwards , I calmed down a little bit . I know by now , that I had make the right choice to stay . Just a few minutes ago , I was tested by God . To see wether I can withstand it , wether all my talks and promises to get 9A's is true or simply just a dream, wether I will choose the fun path that will in the end ruin myself or the hard path which will in the end bring happiness to myself.

My books

My preacious collections of books :)

I love to read ever since I was a lil kid . :3

There's just something about books that captivate me .. 

whenever I'm bored or lonely I'll either read or use my laptop xP

My family knows about my love in reading so they always buy me a new book for me to read and add to my collections x) what can I say ~ my family is just SUPER amazing .

Oh and The Hunger Games you see in the pic is NOT mine. It belongs to my senior, kak Kamalia :)

I just borrow it and will return it next month.

When I was little as in when I was still in kindergartens and primaries I love to read Enid Blyton's collections all those magical fantasy stuff xD 

I remember the 1st book written in english that my mom bought for me was Enid Blyton's The Faraway Tree Stories :) 

During that time I think I was in either P1 or P2 and when I saw the book I was like o.0 do I need to read that ! lol xP Seriously ~ the book was thick and never in my life at that time read a book that thick but I gave it a shot and... guess what ! From then on , I fell in love with Enid Blyton's collection and now I have like loads of those books and I can even organize em by their colours :3 

Later when I got a lil bit older around P4 I started to develop an interest in novels but NOT those lovey dovey grown up novels but those novels made for kids xp hah . 

Then as I entered P6 I started to enjoy reading those adventure,mystery,scary and action based stories and novels . Let's just say that I got more matured :3 hahaaa ~

Basically , reading is one of the most important things in my life coz I don't know ? I just LOVE to read . lol 

How many times did I say LOVE in this post :P lol.


Anyways !

whenever my family or somebody else bought me a book I'll immediately read the book and finish em as quickly as possible even though I have been advised to read SLOWLY ... gahh .. no !!! I just HAVE to finish the book esp. if that book is really good and have an amazing plot x)

Then I'll keep it on my bookshelves and will read it again when I feel like it .

Sadly , some of my books had to be given away coz there's too many and my mom wanted to persuade my cousins to read more english books so she give my books to them coz somehow most of my cousins doesn't like to read english books no matter how much I persuade them =.= don't they know how much they are missing ?! 

They don't even read Harry potter or Percy Jackson or The Hunger Games or Warriors or .. well yea you got my point . pfft.

Anyways .. me reading english books doesn't mean that I don't read Malay books ^^

There's also load of great books written in Malay such as Impiana , Dear Yayah , the Aku Mahu novels etc.

I also have a collection of those xD wooohoooo ~

Just today I finished Impiana 3 and I can't wait to read the fourth and final one ;) 
lalalalaa ~

Reading ~ such joy .

Even though I love to read, that doesn't mean that I am obsessed with it and not do anything else besides reading. I love going out to get some fresh air and to relax and have fun, going out to adventures,spending time with my family and friends and playing with my cute lil nephew Iyad<3 and many many other things such as eating ^^ LOL

So even though I may be a bookworm, I'm a very healthy, happy and active one ;) 
say cheese ! :D

Besides , reading is very good thing to do rather than wasting your day surfing internet and watching tv.You may gain a lot of useful knowledge by reading, even though you read fictional stories. Yup, you'll gain writing skills and learn more vocabs and you'll have an idea of how to write stories. True facts right ;))

Kopitiam & Reminders

Today ~

I told my mom that I wanted to buy some shelves and cupboard for my room and mom told my dad and he's like okay why not let's go out and take a look at the furniture shop .

My brother came along too coz he suddenly wanted to cut his hair which is GOOD thing coz his hair had gotten messy and it's about time those hair has to come off :P

While he's waiting for his turn in the barbershop , my parents and I went to take a look at the furniture shop which is just a few shops away from the barbershop . 

Sadly .. I didn't find what I want so my parents gonna take me to IKEA later lol .

Afterwards , we went to eat at Kopitiam :D

Technically , only me and my bro ate there . My parents only drink some tea although my father did ate 1 sandwich .. hah.

anyway this is what I ate :

Nyummy ~ ;)

It's bread covered with peanut butter with ice creams and chocolate sauce on top !

my favourite xD

along with chocolate ice blended .. oooh ~

My bro ordered some sandwiches with soya bean ~ hahaaa xD

Guess he was hungry at that time coz I couldn't finish my bread therefore he finished it all along with his 4 sandwiches xD He's pretty awsome right? winkwinkwink 

Hey I just realized that the ice creams on top of my bread kinda looks like a love shape ! how cool is that >< Somehow I always have this sudden urge to take a pic of my food after I'm halfway eating them :3 lmao.

My lovely parents :))

After we're done eating my father wanted to show us his new office at Puchong so we went there.When the car stopped coz of the traffic lights I saw this huge tree and there was lots of birds flying around it . I'm guessing that all those bird were coming back to their nests since it's already late evening and the sun was starting to set. For me , the scene was so fantastic and beautiful esp. when I hear the sounds of the birds chirping ~ It's just so relaxing and cool for me. It reminds me again of how beautiful this world is and that I should be grateful I'm still alive right now and surrounded with such amazing people and a kind family who are nice enough to to take me out simply to eat and shop even though they themselves have better things to do than going out with me ;)

Once again I will say this - I LOVE MY FAMILY <33333

               

Clouds

I love to look at the sky and observe the beautiful clouds .

It gives me this calm feeling and reminds me of how beautiful life is :)

Subhanallah ~

The Mines

I went to The Mines today with my sis, bro in law,iyad and my brother :D

my sis wants to buy a new phone but since she can't decide which phone she should buy , we end up just walking around looking at all those gorgeous phones,ipad,tabs and all the awsomeness of modern inventions.

pssht ~ oh and I got a laptop cooler pad coz my laptop is tooooo HOT to handle lmao xP

Now , here's the sad part .

I saw a lil booth that sell those lil pretty letters that you can choose then you can make it as a bracelet or keychain or necklace .. 
so I decided to make one so that I can put it on my iPod.

At 1st , the owner said that it cost RM 1 for 1 letter and I and my sister was like emm okay ~

THEN , after picking out the letters which cost RM 6 coz my name has 6 letters on it, the owner said that to make it to a keychain you have to pay RM 5 and  for the metal thingy to stop the letters from sliding off you have to pay RM 2 for each ! meaning overall it'll cost RM15 for that tiny keychain =.= 

I was like o.0 u serious ?!

psshht .. there's like hundreds of those letter keychains sold everywhere in Malaysia with a WAY more reasonable price than THAT particular booth .

Therefore , I end up not buying those keychains :(( 

It's not worth it anyway .

On the bright side ,

We went to A&W afterwards ^_____^

I ordered cheese burger set and the infamous A&W float <3333

t'was fabulous ;)

and .. Iyad looks like he enjoyed moving around with his stroller ~

He only cried when we stopped but when the stroller move again, he stopped and sleep ~ hahaa what a cutie xD

Missing the FLUTE

 YUP . I miss PLAYING the flute :3

The only instrument that I'm or was truly good at ~

When I entered Grade 7 in ISG I joined BAND and was given the flute !

Honestly , at FIRST I suck at playing the flute. I couldn't even hold it properly or blow a note ><

Well .. I NEVER played any instrument before so uh .. u can't blame for that . hah .

so me being the perfectionist me I practiced and practiced and even search up tutorial vids on how to play the flute lmao -.-" 

and guess what ! all those hardwork of mine payed off coz I finally get to produce a sound out of the flute =D and I was SO freaking HAPPY at that time ^_____________^

although umm.. to tell u the truth I got the worst flute :(  Just my luck huh ~

whatevs .

Me playing the flute LOL .. psshht ~

I played LOADS of songs on the flute . Hard and Easy .

You can say that I'm an average or good flute player but not a Pro or hardcore flute player coz ya know .. I got a sore arm and headache everytime i play the flute for too long :3

AND I tend to always forgot the notes for the difficult and confusing ones plus sometimes I forgot how the beginning of each songs sounds like gahh ..

darn you flute .

and ..

I also miss the school concerts even though sometimes I got panic attack when I forgot the notes and when my flute was not tuned properly during the concert ahah ~ pretty good memories x)

Still , I enjoyed playing the flute :D

 It was nice to be a part of a band with many dif. instruments and each instruments have their own parts which when combined and played together will produce a great sound and music for people to enjoy ;)

Inner Peace

Lately ~

I seem to be calmer and happier than I  was before .

Despite the tuitions and all the studying , I didn't break down or stressed out about it .

My emotions seems to be more controlled as though the earthquake that had hit me before had ceased and everything is back to normal ~

My appetite returned and I went back to my old healthy self =)

and today after reading surah Yasin after Maghrib prayer I felt calm, safe & peaceful ~
as though NOTHING can disturb or trouble me again ..

Now,even if the bad memories came back to me when I'm alone it didn't trouble me at all .
 Instead , I felt like those events are simply hilarious and I wondered ~ 
why in the world was I SO obsessed with my past before .. 
why did I gloat over them so much ? 
WHY can't I forget them or laugh at them even when I try too ? 
those questions are now answered ~

It's because at that time , I was lost .. 

I pray , but I only pray physically while my mind and heart was not into it coz I was super busy dealing with my problems and emotions .

and .. I barely read the Quran after school ended .. It's as if I completely forgot about it and my duty as a Muslim. Now when I start reading the Quran again .. I realized that I was just being ultra stupid for not reading the Quran before and for causing myself to suffer throughout all those painful times .

From now on , I'll try to not let the same problems to occur again .

To try and make myself a better person than before and most importantly ..

Make myself a better Muslim than before =)

PS.

 I went to my bestie Wani's house today and watched a funny story, ate rambutans and manggis and TUTTI FRUTTI ^___^ YAY ! I finally get to taste those frozen youghurts x) oh and as a sign of thanks I gave her a lil cute Jambu worth a million dollars fresh from the tree ! lmao .. jkjkjk  XD

Birthdays and thoughts

So...guess what ! I have finally turn 14 :)

not sure wether that is a GOOD thing or BAD thing . 

but.. meh ~

I should be grateful that I was even born to this world, to have such a great and loving family, friends that always make me smile,awesome cousins who I can fool around with ;),
a nice comfortable house and my own room so that I can live in peace and comfort :D,pretty and comfy clothes,nyummy food and drinks and .. the list goes on and on and on and ON ..

Actually I celebrated my bday yesterday since it was Sunday :) my parents bought me a delicioustastic cake and my cousins who came brought KFC and laksa :D and my parents also bought balloons which the kids love to play with .. lol xD It was REALLY FUN watching them ;) ngeheheeee

I was at first kinda sad yesterday coz I thought it was 5/12 yesterday yet nobody wished my bday wishes on FB :P but them it turned out that yesterday was 4/12 -.- trololol ...

and TODAY ..

I log in fb and my whole wall is full of bday wishes ! yay xDDD

Haha ~

lmao xD THIS is SO effing true ~ I barely got any presents for my bday ever since FB and all those social sites was created :P sad huh ..

people are getting so lazy nowadays :3

so TODAY is also the 1st day of tuition ! =.=

it was OK . Though I got sleepy at the middle of the class coz I was supposed to be at HOME SLEEPING at that time :P eheh.

I learned a LOT though :)))

so.. no regrets .

During the WHOLE class , I realized that I have LOADS of things that I HAVE to learn .. 

but after today , I think that I CAN do it once I made up my mind ..

It's not really that hard it's just a matter of working hard to understand or accepting the sad reality of not understanding -.- choice 1 for me please ! ;)

anyways ~

My sis picked me up after class and she treat me at Kopitiam .

We ate this delicious huge fluffy bread covered with peanut butter topped with ice creams and chocolate sauce x) t'was delicious ! nyum nyum ~

and she had a chocolate ice blended and I had Strawberry sundae :D

both were good ;)

and later when we got home I ate nasi ayam .. kekekekeee.. I may look skinny but once I start to eat I just can't stop unless I'm not hungry of course xP

I also had a chitty chatty with my mom :)

we talk about what I will be in the future LOL.

I told her that I'm still searching what my REAL interest lies in and she said that she always prays for me to find something I'm really interested in and will succeed in the future .. naww :')

I LOVE my mom <33333

by REAL interest .. it means that something which I'm really realy interested in and I really want to learn more about it and not the temporary interest that I always got such as once I got really interested in crosstich :P but then I got bored .. hah.

ps.

My cousin aisyah @ ecah called me today to wish me happy bday ! hahaaa.. love u cousin ;)

and and and my 2nd sis who's currently in Australia called me too :D 

YAY ! 

I know.. it's just a call but hey it's MY BIRTHDAY .. lol 

^____________________________^

Trust

In my life I had trusted a LOT of people but not many treasure the trust I gave .


Sometimes,
I THOUGHT that I CAN trust the person because of all the sweet talk the person had that I completely fell over the trap and later it turn out that the person betrayed me.
Happened to me countless of times already.
It's as if  betraying,lying,cheating and all that bad stuff are normal in this world.
It's as if there's nothing wrong with doing those cruel things.


In my life, I had moved alot ~
 therefore I met alooot of different people which I found VERY very interesting.
Being the way I am, I tend to observe the people around me and then later I will try to get to know them and their personality and then later I make my conclusion of what type of person they are although the conclusion will be changed later as time goes by..
according to the person.


The interesting thing that I found is that if  u have a secret u better keep it to yourself unless u really REALLY trusted someone to tell them about it and u better NOT be stupid enough to tell someone you don't fully trust or doesn't know well about your secret coz if you did ..
well let's just say that you're just digging your own grave.


A tells B a secret - B tells C about As' secret and ask C to keep it a secret - C tells D about As' secret and tells D to keep it a secret and the flow goes on and on until nearly everybody knows about it and A will finally feel the feelings of betrayal and being deceived.


well.. THAT is a normal thing that always happened , don't you think ?
if you have never experienced it well YOU are one lucky person ;)


As for me,
I had already learn to keep my mouth shut for along time already which I got from my own experience which I have to say is really harsh.
There are times when I felt the urge to tell people around me about my dear secret but thankfully I'm strong enough to push back the urge and reminding myself that it's not worth it.
Still.. there ARE times when I felt like the secret I kept are not that secretive and not THAT important anymore so I will happily tell others about it with nothing to worry about :)


OR other times when I felt like the secret is becoming a burden to me or harming myself or making me stressed out for nothing so I will spill the beans to somebody so that my life will be easier afterwards.
Although me being me, I tend to keep my secrets and problems to myself until somebody is smart enough to dig it out from me or I was just to stressed out by it and just had to tell someone.

It's not only about secrets but also about your belongings and YOURSELF. If somebody ask to borrow your belongings .. FIRSTLY, THINK about it .. think wether that person is somebody who you can trust to take care of your belongings and not damage it and will return it ON time. Then.. once you're DONE thinking about that you may do what you think is right and later deal with the consequences which you will either smile or frown ~


It's a common knowledge that when you TRUST someone you will be showing your weakness to the person since you TRUST that person.
Therefore, it's very VERY important to double triple check the reality wether that person is just playing with you and will later deceive you or the person is truly a trustworthy person :)
coz if you didn't ..
chances are you will not be heartbroken in the end OR you will end up killing yourself.

so basically the conclusion of this post is .. 

beware of your surroundings.
Don't EVER judge a person from their cover.
There are LOADS of people out there who are BRILLIANT in talking and bribing and all those sweet talks that make you swoon and think that they are so effing nice but underneath the cover ? you never know .
Those perfect mask they put on are just too good to be true.

anyways ~

IF you truly trust somebody and have known that person for a loooong time and the person had kept your secrets and promises safely and remain true to the words ..
you may happily and peacefully TRUST that person ~
BUT if you DON't fully trust that person .. do it if you're stupid :)