same yet not quite

This year's raya has been very very memorable for me.

I guess coz my my sisters has both gotten married, hv their own house, got work and all, 

my family were most times separated. Thus the reason why I get so happy when all of my family members are under one roof. like seriously happy though i don't really express it hahah.

So since it's raya and all, my angah and bro in law came all the way from Kelantan to our lil cozy house.

Meaning :

My family was complete!

everyone was there.

including the newest addition, baby Syifa' :')

i can just cry happily.

Sadly, i just sent my angah back to Kelantan few hours ago. she's a doctor now. have to work. everyone's busy now. bro in law dah balik semalam. one n only nephew and other bro in law not at home. The spell has broken.

Yet that's not the point of this blog post.

Yesterday i get to sleep with my angah and along like old times, ate at the same table with all three there and them without their husbands lol. just eating happily. me being the idk how to express kid just sat there being weird yet deep inside, i missed those moments. those old times, when my sisters were still single haha. those old times when they would come back home and just do what a typical family does. laze around, watch tv, eat dinner together, spent time outside together. Not that i'm being bitter, but yesterday and today, i realised something important.

eating with them at the same table felt the same as old times yet clearly it's not the same. Things has changed.

We all changed. I have accepted that fact ages ago.

Alhamdulillah.

I wouldn't change anything. I'm happy for the fact that both of my sisters has found someone who would love and take care of them better than i will. They are happy. That's all i need to know. 

I may not be the best younger sister. I may be a weird grumpy kid most of the times but it's just because i don't really know how to express myself when i'm with my family. That's just me. I wish i'm better at those things but hey, i love them and that's all that matters.

Anyways, one of the highlights of this year's raya is me, my angah and abangah (bro in law), hang out at klcc on the night of the 1st day of the raya! ahaha we thought it's gonna be empty. they treated me coffee bean's choc cake and hazelnut milkshake. yummers ;) roamed around searching for a lift haha and had laughing fits with those two kids. i swear, they're like kids *indirectly saying they're cute* lol. it was great. I don't get much time to spend time with them so getting to spend time with them on that day was marvellous. Alhamdulillah. 

and not to forget my never ending love towards my relatives<3 they made my raya complete man. Without them, raya would be dull. It ain't the same. I'm grateful that i have awesome chilling hilarious though kinda weird cousins ahah. i didn't just typed "weird". pfft. Weird means unique. awesomeness<3

well you see, i'm not exactly comfortable with letting the world *bajet famous* see my pics. sikit sikit boleh la. so here you goooo. let the rest stay in my heart, mind and laptop.

ps. amazingly the song peter pan kinda fit this post so ya. i translate songs into my life. deal with it (y)