haha

haha to all of you who makes it a norm to underestimate people.

haha to all of you who thinks that looks can justify everything,

haha.

Looks aren't something that a person can easily alter or throw away. Looks are something that every beaings grow up with. It's something that has been given to them and you.

Some people may look mean but truth is, they are one of the most kindhearted people alive.

Some people may look dense but truth is, they inherits a mind sharper than any geniuses out there.

Some people may look ugly but truth is, they are owners of the kindest and purest heart ever.

Ever hear of the quote saying 

"Don't judge a book by its cover"?

Same goes to us human beings. We shouldn't judge when we don't know. Simple as that. Judgements are a pain. Words can kill. So before you go off judging and torturing people with your words, stop for a bit and go laugh at yourself no matter how crazy that sounds.

Laugh at yourself because you did something stupid but be guilty over the hearts you had scarred because of your selfishness or ignorance or whatever it may be.

I'm not a saint. I'm a human. I have flaws, some I can try change and some will somehow always be there but hey, why mourn over it. Just embrace the flaws wholeheartedly because in the end, no one is flawless and if you still chose to stay in a state of denial over your flaws then your life will be full of misery sooner or later or maybe even now. Haha do I care? No. Whatever path you decide to go on, it will be your choice. There'll always be people who will try to offer you a helping hand, advices and some tips or whatever, but in the end the choice is all yours and the path you take will be your own battle. A battle whom no one can randomly interfere unless some miracle happens. 

You know what's the best thing to do after you went through a tough day full of misjudgements and other ridiculous stuff you don't even want to talk about? Laugh out loud like a crazy person or just simply smile and move on to other stuff that fills your heart with ease.

Haha

Face it

It was a lovely day, a lovely morning.
The sun was shining bright in the lovely clear blue sky. A sky so serene and calming that you can never get bored of it. I thought that a lovely day like today shouldn't be wasted cooped up in a box made of brick we call house. I thought that maybe I could explore what little nature there  is around me. Expectations was building up like a child eating her favorite cake. I was thrilled by the idea. Chores done I dashed out eagerly accompanied with nothing but myself.

Step by step I walked to my favorite place.
My secret place which wasn't really a secret coz it's not exactly well hidden but at least it secured me from people's curious glance and besides it was the best I could find. That place is nothing but a spot at the end of my house's side lawn.

My little garden
 as I prefer to call it although I wished it was more colorful. Located near the back gate and the kitchen. The place where my family pile all the unused stuff at. Old aquariums, boxes, crates, gardening tools and even two trash cans and you get the idea. It's not exactly the best spot for a 15 year old to relax but it was all I got.

 Good thing about my little hideout is that you can observe what little nature you can discover in a city. You can rest under the shades the green lush trees. Although the plants there aren't much but it was good enough. Observe the fine details of the wonderful creations. So fine so grand so beautiful. Even the dullest plainest tree are lovely. The simplicity of it brings out the beauty. Every little details makes up the tree.

The sweet atmosphere of being away from judgemental humans is definitely a plus. Away from prying eyes. Away from any unwanted emotions. Just you and the lovely creations.

Sit down, relax, and silently wait.
The residents of the garden will soon come out. Another lovely creations.
They won't notice you nor disturb you. All they do is circle around flowers and trees and occasionally land on them and all you need to do is to let the silence last.
Slowly, one by one peeps out from their hiding place. The place will suddenly be swarmed by them. Suddenly  the place some thought was dull brightens up, a fiesta was held. It's is as if the lovely creatures was dancing a merry merry dance and singing a jolly tune because they know, they know what beauty the world behold.
A beauty so beautiful that you can stare at it all day long and simply wish time will stop.

but let's stop here. Back to the title. Face it. Today my hopes were crushed.

My only ticket to nature without unnecessary company were for now in a way was destroyed.
All because of us. Humans. The nightmares of nature.

How do you expect our world to be well cared for when we're long gone when childrens can't even play outside peacefully. When childrens can't even appreciate and enjoy what little nature they have when forced to live among dull buildings and polluting vehicles roaming around 24 hours and when kidnappers can pop out from anywhere.

Where is the future you promised  your childrens?

It all roots down to ourselves. How we deal with nature. The gift that God has given us.

What is happening to this world? Where are the freedom a child is supposed to have. The freedom of getting to peacefully play outside among the flowers and butterflies. That merry magical laugh that only a child can hold possession.

Face it.
Everything was screaming at my face just minutes ago.
It has changed.
The world has changed.
I used to play outside, play with my neighbours till the sun sets.



technologies were brought forward to replace the loss.
Too advanced that kids are no longer kids.
Humans are no longer humans.
Sanity is slowly deteriorating.

What can we do. What are we doing. I'm not even asking. It's a statement that has become synonym to the reality we're living in right now.

Face it.

Jokesters

Maybe calling them jokesters are too extreme and completely not appropriate at all but well my blog my rules. I have the right to give out my opinion.

Maybe my optimism is starting to cross the border or maybe I'm just immatured. You see, in this era we're living right now, in this huge vast world we're living so smugly in, getting information are not really that huge of a problem especially when some of us are not living in a country where bombs, explosions and riots are not common and very very rare. Especially if you actually have the time to search about your favorite artist and you know, stuff.

See, YouTube itself is a living proof (although it's not technically a living thing).
Open YouTube, type in the search bar and 50% chance is that you WILL find the video. Oh and you might also randomly stumble into videos related to Islam and religions and issues that might change your life forever but again, it all depends on us. Whether we want to click on it or simply ignore it :)

So many videos on YouTube, so many information on internet itself.
Yet, if you go to some videos for example a video about a guy telling his story about how he reverted back to islam and underneath it in the comments section, harsh and rude comments are very likely to be found.

You see I have no problem with that, it's your sole right but heyy wait a sec, don't you think that what you're or were doing are one of the reasons why our world right now is so overloaded with problems? Minor or major. When emotions take over ourselves, THAT is a problem itself.
Don't you think one of the reasons are  because of us humans who simply see what we want to see when the answers are simply a click away or in other words, sometimes too close to even laugh at.

Funny how the answers are staring at us right in the eye but we pick to joke around and pretend like t we have never seen nor understand it. Funny how we choose to comfortably live in our little cozy world when so many eye opening things are going on out there. Funny beings aren't we.

Mehh i don't care. They are still jokesters. Jokesters who are fooled by their own jokes. Pffft maybe I am a jokester myself telling myself that other people are the one being fooled by their own jokes. Hah. 

Letting go

We're just one out of billions.

Separating from a group people doesn't mean that it's the end.

Look up. 

Look at the sky, the stars, look at how wide and vast this world is.

This beautiful world.

There are still so many things out there to explore.

Why get cooped up in one spot forever?

You're not an animal. Pardon me, but even animals hate being cooped up.

Life is so much more than grieving over the past. 

Let go of the grief. Let go of the fear. Let go.

Keep the memories coz one day, we will look back and smile at those memories.

All the hardships we had been through, all the wonders we made, all those crazy omg moments, those silly arguments we had, those minor but meaningful moments, those sad and tear shedding moments we survived together, those typical days we spent through together, those hilariously awkward moments and all the times we held hands and support each other when boulders decided to hit us face on!

Life is amazing :') Alhamdulillah, Subhanallah, Allahuakbar.

Sometimes letting go is hard. It's just like how apologizing is hard for some people but hey, it's totally worth the try!

When you let the past weight you down, you'll stumble.

Simply because you're carrying unnecessary weight you decided to hold on to.

Those weights weight a ton.

Are you gonna keep carrying it?

Are you gonna let those weights bring you down, block you from your own dreams? the dreams that you have worked hard for?

I hope not :)

Leave it. Time to move on and not just move on but move forward!

The road is still long and there MANY things out there waiting for you.

Wipe away the tears, look up at the sky and say "I can do this" and let go.

Be like those people who suffer everyday, people who experience hardships everyday, the boulders that hit them are wayyy bigger and heavier than the ones that hit us yet they still can smile, they still manage to say "Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah"

Take the good things from this world not the bad things.

My daily gift

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why it's called "present" "

You know what,
I have been thinking a lot this few days to the extend that I can't sleep and most of the times end up talking to myself since those times are usually the time people get their beauty sleep so I'm left alone with thoughts pondering over lots of different ideas and issues.

It seems as if my brain have changed it's ways.
My "random" part in my brain seems to have toned down. Less hectic.
Lately I've been thinking more about the world in general.
Although when I get tired all of those stuff, my dramatic and random side jumps out and turns my mind into a topsy turvy land.

There are times when I feel greatly motivated to do lots of good stuff but days like today are the days where my emotions took over me. I studied but I did it to forget about my annoying emotions. Thankfully today is a Sunday meaning I don't really need to face anyone asides from my family which I barely saw today because I kind of locked myself in my room not wanting to hurt anyone because of my condition.

I thought.
Yesterday I was so happy, who would thought today will be like this. It's like I get this daily presents which I get to open every day and in each box there are different types of gift. ALWAYS different. I can never really guess what the gift will be. A mystery present that I get everyday. For me getting all these gifts are incredibly wonderful. Despite that some things can happen to ruin my mood for a bit on a particular day, I still think that every day is a truly "epically awesome" day. Truly the best gift that I'll ever get.

Thank you.

Confusion

Another great night, studied, drank nice hot milo, air- conditioner switched on to a suitable temperature , isya' prayer all done, contented, happy and well, everything feels right so what else is there for me to not be happy? Sadly, something is bugging my mind.

I missed school today.

I don't know, maybe coz I was tired but well, I think EVERYONE who attended the two days seminar was tired so who am I to use that as an excuse?

Maybe I was slightly overwhelmed by the sudden emotions last night? but don't everyone get that at times? I wonder, do they miss school because of that particular reason?

Well duh, I wasn't in my best condition this morning? Can that be an excuse? I don't know.

Right now, I feel confused.

Unlike many others, I haven't figured out what course do I want to take in the future? Which university do I want to go? Malaysia or somewhere else in this vast universe? 

I always thought I know what I want to be in the future but if someone ask me, I'll start asking myself  and confuse myself.

Me being me, I hate making decisions especially when I'm not totally clear on what and where my real interest lies. What exactly am I interested in? One day, I'm interested in science and at that moment everything seems clear to me but the next moment, all that excitement disappear. Happened a lot in my life. Maybe I'm just afraid that one day I'll decide to pursue on something but lost my passion and interest in the middle of it. Giving up? No, but I'll probably become a robot.

You know,
I actually have so many untangled knots in my mind.
Maybe I think way too much at times.
Those knots, some are quite easy to untangle, some are tougher and bigger and more complicated.
I wished that those knots will just untangle themselves for me so that I can have a clear view of my future even though it probably won't be the exact thing but well, better than nothing but guess what, those knots are stubborn. They want me to figure it out myself. They want me to be in a deep state of confusion for a long time. They want me to be patient. To untangle them slowly, but surely. They don't want me to be reckless and make stupid decisons coz that will just give me a harder time.

So well, as for now, 

there's still some time for me to untangle those knots.

Thus,

let me just enjoy this peaceful night and say goodbye to all this confusions which I'll still face sooner or later. Goodbye.

Mystery

I wonder how it is to live a life surrounded by never ending mysteries. Suffocating yes but somehow for me maybe it's because I've always been captivated by all those detectives, spies, mysteries and supernaturals stories that sometimes I wish I'm that cool person who gets to uncover all the hidden secrets and reveal all the truth. I wish I'm that person who creates all those cool strategies, disguise perfectly as someone else, entered a protected building without anyone's knowledge, chase the suspect, and you know everything related to that.

Must be interesting to have a life where everyone know that you can do it. I'm not really a fan of high expectations but I guess when you're called a detective, you just have to solve the case given to you.

Solving the case one by one. Clue by clue. Step by step. Suspect detected. Proof discovered and the whole case unravels itself.

As much as I am a bookworm. I still have my own preferences. Love and romance and stuff like that is at the bottom of my list because for me, it doesn't have the thrill and suspense that mystery type of dramas/stories have. Sure, there may be some thrills and suspense but mehh not the same at all. The feeling for me is entirely different. Maybe it's because in a way I kind of like to think crazy stuff like the supernaturals and stuff. I even have my own movies and dramas in my head. In each movie/drama, I have my own characters that I made and somehow maybe just maybe the reason why I created those stuff is because I want to satisfy myself.

There are times,
when I'm in a way not satisfied with something but I tell myself, I should be grateful.

But it still bugs me at times,
so I ran to my own mystical world and weave wonders.

It's kind of like an automatic thing that my mind do,
Whenever I'm left alone with my thoughts, it's either I think about non crazy stuff or crazy stuff.
Most of the times when I entered the crazy part of my brain, I entered this phase where it's as if I'm directing my own movie/drama. It still amuse me how if I actually take out a paper and pen and list all the stories I directed and created, it will probably take out the whole paper and I'll end up laughing at how weird I can be at times.

As of right now, I just think that as much as I like all that, I'm kind of glad I'm not a top notch detective or someone with super powers or something coz it seems so pressuring at times as much as how I find it to be interesting haha.

Well, random alert!
Guess what people, you never know...
maybe one day I'll be the one you thought could never be ;)

Hopefully, whatever I may turn out to be, let's all hope that it's something good InshaAllah.

Agreed

I had always have that problem where I think TOO much and I can't help it.

It just come. It's like, this unstoppable wave that somehow never stop coming. Well, something like that haha

Well, you see,
thinking is GOOD but when you think too much it either comes down to good or bad.
Depends on the situation itself.

This matter somehow also affect me in my daily life.

Like when I'm supposed to be asleep.
I lay in bed at 10, I sleep at 11. Unless I'm like super tired, then I'll sleep like baby haha
Hah maybe that's why I like to sleep so much.
It's coz it's so hard for me to sleep itself.

Anyways,
I had always conceded to this fact about myself but only today did someone clearly pointed it out. Like whoaa, amazing ;)

You know, most of the times,
the main reason why I'm quiet at times is because I'm thinking way too much that it fall out clumsily when I open my mouth so I decided that it's better to stay silent rather than making myself look stupid because people will not even understand what I will be talking about or they'll be like weirded out OR they will have a hard time trying to understand what I said. It's for the best xD

Not like I stay quiet all the time.
Of course, I talk.
Will be even weirder, if I don't talk at all and keep everything in.
Might as well be a tree if like that.

Really,
now, I'm trying organize my mind because to be honest, I feel like my way thinking is a bit cluttered at times SO right now, I'm on this organizing spreeeee.
I have like all this compartments in my mind ready to classify and order my thoughts so that I won't trip or forget anything again after this InshaAllah.
A bit hard really esp. since well, once you get used and comfortable with something, it's hard to change you way unless you have the courage and spirit to change itself.

but you know what, change is good! especially when it's for the better InshaAllah :)

Emotions

Ever woke up and look around and immediately get a surge of emotions in you?
and the strongest emotion you get at that time is anger.

Times like when someone did something you dislike with your belongings without your consent.
Times when your beloved ones did something you dislike without your knowledge when you were asleep.

*sigh*

I love them yet sometimes Allah SWT challenge my love for them by giving me challenges like this.

Dear family, for you I'll be patient.
You have done so much for me so why can't I stay quiet and endure this little mistake that you might not even realize that it's wrong when you did it.

Weary

I'm tired, weary.

Few more days till Ramadhan yet it seems as if some of us doesn't even care that THIS is the holy month of Ramadhan in the first place. It seems as if the only time we tried to change was during the beginning of Ramadhan. It seems as if we're not making any attempt to change anymore because of the mere excuse of

 "this is my real self, this is how I always act, this is my personality and it can't be change because this IS the real me and it can't be helped" 

Really?
Is it true that it can't be helped OR you're just too lazy to show some effort in helping yourself. Or could it be that you're already in your comfort zone. You're afraid of change. You're afraid to step out. You're afraid to accept reality. You know, your words won't do you any good if you don't act on it. A big waste, really.

I believe that some of us already know our responsibility. The rights and wrongs. Even if you don't know, it's YOUR job to learn, to ask. Living in ignorance is an extremely sad life no matter how you put it. Now, if you already know and had been educated about etiquette, the five daily prayers, your responsibility as muslim/muslimah and all that, it will be a sin for you IF you don't practice what you learn. To be entirely honest, what's the point of learning if you DON'T use it. WHAT's the point of having a brain IF you don't use it. I beg you to ponder over what I just typed. Please.

I'm tired.
I don't know how to put it in words.
I don't know how to advice.
I'm scared of offending people rather than motivating them.
I'm lost.

This days, I've been entirely different from my usual self.
Maybe because I'm tired or maybe because I've been viewing this world in a different way causing myself to be shocked itself. It seems as if this time, some unknown thing is trying to get into me, trying to make me fall down but at the same time strengthening me. An unknown battle.

It seems as if lately, I've been standing in a narrow slope where it is located at place where I can easily fall down and break into pieces and a place where the road is so narrow that  it scares the wit out of me, where the corner is so sharp that I can easily fall down after I decided to move forward and I don't even know what exactly is behind that corner. It seems like the only way for me to survive is to move slowly and carefully or take a risk and sprint and face whatever that's waiting for me there. One wrong step, and I'm probably doomed but if I do survive, new things will be waiting for me. I don't even know if I can survive through those "new" things but guess what, I'm a fighter. I ain't backing down as much as this is killing me.

I'll survive this weariness. I will. 

Ya Allah, I pray for your guidance.

View

I was born in a nice family who took care of me when I was a kid and even now they still are with me, always behind me and encouraging me to move  forward and they ladies and gentleman, are my greatest ally, supporter, motivater and the greatest of all, they are MY family Alhamdulillah :)

So because I was born in a family which I don't really need to fight that much with my siblings since I AM the youngest lol and there's like a huge age gap between me and my siblings *sigh* so most of the times, I play with myself xD, I don't really need to speak out that much in my family since they all understand me, most of the times ;) All of that turned me into a quiet shy kid when I entered school for the 1st time ever. I was that kid who hate to speak in front of everyone. Who barely play sport, who most of the times prefer to be in her comfort zone.

At the age of 12, I started to enjoy speaking in front of the public but that was just the very late starting point in my life. Later, I went to Saudi with my family and lived there for like 1 year :) It was a very important and interesting experience for me. I've moved a lot but all schools I entered was religious schools so I went from a religious school to a social international school :) haha wow. Huge difference there but it was fun :) I adapted after lots of challenges and came back to Malaysia with improved english and a wider view of the world.

See, being with people from diff cultures and religions helped me to see the world better. It dawned on me, I must change, if I want to stand with my own feet among all this people, I have to know how to survive. So, I changed.

Then, I joined debate in Sri Ayesha and started reading the news, meet more people, learn speaking skills and a better way to think :) To be honest, I was very reluctant to join, I still have a little fear of the public in me but after my first competition I was enchanted by the wonderful debate world. A wonderful discovery :)

I feel like ya, you'll be VERY ignorant if you don't know bout what's happening now, the massacres, the bombings, the wars, it's everywhere. Lately, a mosque in Missouri was like destroyed. Muslims everywhere dying, starving, kids at the age of 11 working hard labor just to help their family, to eat. It's terrfying, but that's why WE have to do OUR role.

Our responsibility is to help the people in need especially our brothers and sisters in Islam out there. They are suffering, they barely have food to sahur and iftar, they starve everyday to the point they don't realized it anymore and here we are, eating so peacefully with so many food in front us, ignoring the silent cries of mothers who lost their children, and all those people who has seen their beloved ones killed in front of their own eyes.

We have to rise, wake up from this beautiful world of yours. Charities , giving them food,water, clothes, shelter, those are good enough. That's the least we can do. At least they won't be starving for one day.

BUT really? that's all? No.
We have to strive to become a better muslim/muslimah. Be smarter, stronger, be the best so that we can fight our enemies and win. So that we can protect ourselves and our big family :) We have to be strong mentally, physically, intellectually. We have to start preparing now! No time to be ignorant. You never know, maybe YOUR country will be the NEXT victim. Will you be ready? Or will you succumb to their orders. Think.
Our brothers and sisters are depending on us, to make a change. WE are their only hope. Their ray of light.

That's what a family is supposed to do right, help each other when in need :')

Therefore,

Use what you have now wisely. Appreciate what you have. Use everything to the best extend because THAT's our responsibility as a khalifah, the choosen one :)

The way

Sometimes, well no. Life ALWAYS have something for us.
Never will there be nothing.

It's all normal.
We all have to face something. Some earlier, some later and some are going through it right now :)
but in the end, those things are the things that will help us to change. Those things are the things that will make sure that we are on the right track. The right way. I guess that's why we have to be wise, we have to be strong, calm and handle those things the right way. Never let it crush you or else you'll drown.

Life is like the sea.
There will always be waves. Some strong, some not that strong. Pollution may happen. There's always a possibility that a tsunami might happen :P There's always a possibility that the sea will drown you and all those stuff may cause you fear but if you manage to overcome it, you'll dive through the sea fighting the waves, and then you'll see, the beauty of the sea. The wonders of the world. Hidden underneath :) Subhanalllah.

and besides, despite all those terrors that had happened at the sea, somehow it's still there, as beautiful as ever :)

I don't know where your road is pointing to right now but I do know that we all live for a purpose. There's a reason why Allah SWT created you. There's a reason therefore never take life for granted. All of the blessings around you may be taken away from you in a blink of an eye so beware ;)

btw,

Happy Ramadhan to all muslims and muslimahs around the word! :D

Beauty of Ramadhan

I wish I can go around and scream I LOVE RAMADHAAAAN! ( but deep inside, I know I won't, lol )

Anyways, ya it's Ramadhan and it's epic Subhanallah :)
I love going to school during Ramadhan although I kinda miss buying food and going to eat during break time but hey, one month je pun! What's there to miss. Not like I'm dying or anything besides Ramadhan actually bring out everyone's wonderful side. I have been sitting in class and the school hall today, amazed. I'm seeing brilliant changes, brilliant improvements, brilliant new nice stuff that I have never experienced or seen in Sri Ayesha Islamic School so ya, it was beautiful :') Keep it up everyone! Maryam is proud. No don't be flattered, but be grateful, be motivated, keep improving, keep changing to the better and when Ramadhan ends, I wish to see great achievements from everyone ;) Not academic achievements but self achievements during the wonderful Ramadhan Mubarak. InshaAllah.

After effect

Who would thought that deep inside, I'm crying.

The first time in my life, my class nearly burned to crisp but thankfully it didn't but ya, the scene is indeed horrible. Dirty and shattered windows, broken lights, nearly burned curtains, dust everywhere, and basically my normally colorful cheerful awesome class is now all grey and dull with dust, glasses and remnants of what the burning fire did to 3 Balqis =)

Alhamdulillah.
Thankfully in the power of Allah SWT, no one was harmed. No one was in the class at that time. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. All thanks to Allah the Almighty. I'm truly grateful for that and the fact that the fire wasn't really that bad but still very bad. Thankfully, my stuff are safe although I couldn't bring it home yet coz no students are allowed to enter 3 Balqis yet. Meaning, we go home with no bags. Wow.

Even now,
the effect is still on me.
When I first knew about it, I wasn't really that affected but as the clock keeps ticking, slowly, I feel like suffocating not just because of the stench left by the fire but also because what the incident reminds me of and more specifically, what the fire reminds me of . When I first saw what happened, automatically I wanted to cry but my friends cried first causing me to bit back those tears and comforted them instead. Although later, after no more tears were dropped, my time came. I sat alone, with my thoughts, in my own world, despite the fact that there are people around me, I was in my own world, scared.

Hell. It reminds me of the hell. I'm scared. I'm terrified. I was frozen. For a heartbeat my heart stopped. THAT fire was not even half of the hell fire. Nightmare.

War. My sisters and brothers in Islam are fighting out there, experiencing worst experience and terror than I what I experienced today. Bullets flying, blood everywhere, the gruesome sound of bombs being dropped, buildings crumbling down and all they can do is watch. Ya Allah, to think that, I am already like sad and stuff because of this small fire, imagine what THEY felt when their house got bombed,raided,all the memories gone,beloved people dying, alone.Truly truly heartbreaking.

Reminder. Most importantly, that incident reminds me of this very short life. Reminds me of things I should always remember. To always be grateful, to always remember that I can die anytime, and if Allah SWT wills, anything can happen just like what happened today :) I should keep my eyes on the track. I should leave those distracting stuff, I should prepare more for my life in the afterworld. What if I was in the class during that time, alone, trapped, and knowing I'm not prepared for the afterworld yet. Even know I can still smell the stench of the fire. Nauzubillah.

Thank you Ya Allah for reminding me. Alhamdulillah :')

Trapped

Ever feel like you don't have any other choice?
Ever feel like suffocating because of the pressure around you?
Ever feel like you're trapped in something unexplainable and you can't seem to get out?

The ideas are indeed suffocating. For me at least.
Lately,
as a PMR candidate for 2012, I have to put up with all those thick books, teachers and parents telling me to study and not waste my time and in the end regret it all and a few some who clearly told me that I HAVE to get straight A's LOL. Funny. Oh wait. Not just that :) I also have to put up with all those stuff that PMR candidates have to put up with every year, like PEKA, PAFA, Kerja kursus for sejarah, geografi and kemahiran hidup AND Oral and lisan although both are the same thing but in different language and for different subjects :)

So,
today was one of my unexpected bad health day in school. Not my worst but quite bad to the extend that I feel like dropping down on the spot (I didn't do that though,lol)

So ya,
even now, my condition haven't really improve that much. Maybe 1%, but that's it?
My mom was like so worried of me and it's so obvious that she's that worried because I'm basically sick nearly every day of a week... that explains why I'm always late this days ;)

Well to be honest, I badly need rest. A rest that is clearly not affordable. Since there's still oral english for PMR tomorrow, I can't rest yet. I have no other choice. It's like I'm trapped in a sphere until everything's setlled, then I can rest and by then, high possibility, I'm already in the hospital. No kidding. Or maybe my mom will just give me all the medicines I need at home since she's a doctor herself :) cool huh, lol.

I wish to fly free in the beautiful sky like the birds in this picture =)

Anyways, I pray that no one out there are experiencing the same thing as I am experiencing right now and I also pray that whoever you are, reading my blog at this moment, will find success here and after InshaAllah.

Make the best of the time you have folks

May peace be upon you, always~

In a way

Hahaa.. doesn't that picture remind you of Narnia? lol it does for me! =') heheh.

So anyways, lately, in a way, I've seen many many many changes around the people I love around me. Like seriously, you don't know how happy and grateful and excited and blissed and super proud I am when I see those changes. You know, when you love someone, you want that someone to have and be the best too right? So when you see that someone in a bad state, a part of you, in a way, feel the tension released by that someone causing you to become sad too and in a way it affects you but because you love that someone so much,so you pray everyday that he/she will change and may Allah SWT guide he/she for the better and BAMM one day, all of a sudden, in Allah's mercy, it turned 360 degree lol. What I mean is that, that person whom had been in a bad state have finally see the light and overcome whatever bringing he/she down before =')

I can't help but smile at that.

 It's such a bliss knowing that Allah SWT are listening to your prayers and even more when your beloved someone have change for the better. In a way, sometimes I feel like I'm being too caring hahaa. Why? cause when they are mad,sad or in a bad state or mood, IN A WAY I'll be affected by it. Strange but yeah. Ahhwell, as long as that will not bring me down, I'm fine I guess (even though I cried so hard just because of a particular reason =P)hahaa mehh forget it :)

There's always a solution for a problem. There's always a reason for something to happen. There's always Allah SWT to listen to your prayers. In a way, there's always something/someone out there to keep you smiling .

May peace be upon you

Bliss

It's such a bliss knowing that you have a family who will always back you up no matter what.

It's such a bliss knowing that you are surrounded with great people who always motivates you to become a better person.

It's such a bliss knowing that you have friends who never fail to make you smile and forget about all those depressing stuff :')

It's such a bliss knowing that every good deed you do will help you to go to the best place ever! (heaven)

It's even more blissful knowing the fact that whenever you feel sad or broken, you can always always tell your problems and pour everything out to the best listener ever, Allah SWT :') and he will always be there, listening to your complaints and stories, will always be there watching your every step and whenever you need Him, He will be there no matter what you do. Subhanallah.

This world is in fact full with blessings from Allah SWT which we somehow lots of times, ignore those blessings because we were too focused on our life in THIS world and forgot about our life in the infinite world . 

Look at those flowers, look at those clouds, look at those green grasses and plants, look at the birds, feel the comfort of having a family with you when thousands out there, already lost theirs. Feel the safety and comfort of actually having a proper place to live in when thousands are living in jeopardy and without a proper soft bed to sleep in every night. The fact that you have air-conditioners and fans is a bliss itself coz many are living under the scorching heat,suffering. Water, isn't that a bliss itself? Now, for those who are living in a country without wars and the sound of bombs and bullets ringing in their ears. Haven't you ever thought how great that is?, how blissful that is? The fact that you can just go out and no one will shoot you or stuff. Isn't that just amazing. Bliss.

My point is, look at the bright side, close your eyes and feel how blessed and blissful your life is compared to those who are suffering even worst than your worst out there. Appreciate it all before you wish you appreciated it. 

Peace be upon you :)

Never be the same

As much as I want things to remain as it is .
As much as I want those wonderful moments to never end.
As much as I want stay like this , free of worries, happy, calm.
As much as I wish that somethings don't need to change.
As much as I want some people to stay.
As much as I want all that.

I know.

It will never be the same.

  There are reasons why things happens and I believe, that we should just accept it the way it is. Embrace it, confront it head on and never bow down. As long as we live or as short as we live, people will come, people will leave, memories will be created, hearts broken, hearts healed, that confusing and excruciating emotions you get at times, that happiness and joy you get, satisfaction, that moment when you feel like life's not fair, stepping on obstacles, getting stronger, struggling, growing up, new challenges, new experience, new view of the world, and all in all, keep in mind, that there are things in this world that no matter how much you love and cherish it and you sincerely hope that things will remain that way, those things, will one day change, you will grow up, and somehow just somehow, those things, those memories, those hard earned experience, will somehow never be the same. You will never get the exact same thing again.

  Say, you did the same thing, but is it the same? No. Different. Ironic isn't it. Let's all embrace that fact , heads high, right food forward and shall we keep moving? Definitely, absolutely. Move forward. Create more memories, explore the world, new experiences, strive for best and one day, you will look back and smile at all those bittersweet memories and know deep inside that it will never be the same anymore yet you will always always, cherish and treasure those memories buried in a special place deep inside your heart where no one can possibly touch it until the day where you are destined to meet the Almighty Creator InshaAllah  :' )

 *somehow I feel like crying while writing this post*

Peace be upon all of you and stay strong everyone, have faith and move on .

Aren't you tired?

Dear people, aren't you tired?

Well I am :) I am extremely tired. Tired of thinking too much. Tired of caring. Tired of many things but not everything. I'm just..tired.

What does that mean though? Should I stop. Should I quit. Should just disappear from everyone's life and end all the misery? Maybe they will be better off without me. Without my stubbornnes, my blurriness,my sleepiness,my ignorance, my awkwardness,my temper, my failure and to put in a simple word , me.

Maybe .

lol you have to be kidding me.

I won't kill myself for anything. 

I won't disappear yet unless the time of my death which only Allah SWT knows.

Why should I? :)

There's so much more meaning to life than people.

I get tired easily yet some people never really understand.

Not everyone is the same yet some people still don't understand.

You know what, sometimes I get tired of smiling. 

and you know, I don't cry often but when I do, it means that I'm tired .

Just ... tired.

Tired.

I'm okay now :) Totally fine :)

My battery is charging. Preparing.Getting stronger by minute.Healing.Every single second.

Maybe I just have to force myself to eat despite my lack of appetite nowadays.

Maybe that will make me stronger physically so that my stamina will increase and I won't get tired easily so that some people won't be disappointed of me.  

Maybe...

Mehh, stuff like that makes me even more tired. I'll try to improve myself for the better but in the same time, it will also mean forcing myself in some ways which may be either good or bad.

You see, not everyone is like you. We have our strengths and weaknesses so don't judge. OH unless you want to come and experience my life first :) If you did and prove that you can lead a better example then me, then you have my respect.

I'll try to fix myself though, not for you or you or you, but for me and for the afterworld.

I'll make sure that I won't get offended by your words anymore even though sometimes you don't even mean it (Sarcasm is fun fun fun)

In the end, I still feel tired yet ... my face is smiling.

Why? Because smiling is a way to show that I still have strength to fight and move forward and most importantly, no matter how great and respectable you are, YOU will never bring me down =) Hoyeah.

The best day ever =')

I have ears :D heheh . Yep. Friday, 11th of March 2012 was one of the best day in my whole 15 years of history =') Indescribable Subhanallah. Everything went along smoothly and accordingly AND nothing, absolutely nothing ruined the day for me =') Alhamdulillah. The best day ever. 

Actually, 11th of March is my class teacher, Teacher Hasni's birthday! AND we, awesome residents of Balqis, planned an epicallyawesome surprise birthday party for our beloved teacher. I don't wanna tell you all the details because well, I'm afraid that I won't be able to describe how amazing those moments were and still are amazing =') Ya Allah. I can't. Well, let me explain in a simple way lol. Firstly,Hidayah made T.Hasni mad, we urge T.Hasni to go comfort her in the library, she got mad but at last, agreed, THEN when she opened the library's door, saw Dayah, we popped the amazingly loud and colorful popper :D and later, it's PARTY TIMEEEE . Hahaa and THAT is the simple way of the story . Ahh did I mention how my fabulous 3 Balqis became a balloon heaven? and packed with food? and epicness? and awesomeness? and how we had a photoshoot afterwards? and how so many grand and precious memories were created? and and and how much I love my classmates? =')

Even debate training on that evening flowed along well . I wasn't blurred nor tired nor disturbed nor distracted . I understood everything and I think I did okay on my speech. Still have a looot to improve on. Ahhwell .

Teacher Hasni , 3 Balqis & KH teacher =')

Look at how amazed we were by the balloons ;D

THE BALLOONS ARE ATAACKING USSS ( kidding =) 

AWWW Everyone was so happy on this day =') 

Me and Hannah comel =)

This was before the heartbreaking mothers day talk where we all got teary eyes. Usrah time with all the secondary girls ;) Some are missing from this picture but nevertheless , they are all epic =)

Thank you Ya Allah for everything . I can never ever ever repay you for any of this . Thank you .

Moments like the ones I experienced last Friday are the times where I feel extremely blessed and selfish coz  I get so much yet not do enough . I still lack in many ways . I still have a lot of gaps that I have to fix within me. Despite all of that , Allah SWT never failed to surprise me with His blessings. Let me repeat , Allah SWT the Almighty never ever ever failed to surprise me with His blessings =') Truly indescribable . Truly truly truly amazing =') Alhamdulillah , Subhanallah , AllahuAkbar .

Let's all strive for the best shall we? =')

Don't want to be depressing

Sometimes I feel like I'm not strong willed enough to do whatever I'm supposed to do to become a better person , to improve .

I can be such a pessimist at times despite how some people praised me for my optimistic self lol 

Life has it's challenges. To become better , you have to fight and sacrifice . Fight for the courage,spirit and determination and sacrifice your time coz you know what , it takes time to actually see the result . Some may not take that long but some can actually take ages to actually finally see the result and outcome of it :) 

The thing is , I still have this problem where I become demotivated very easily when I muck up in something I shouldn't be mucking up . When I failed something I shouldn't failed . When I let down people's expectation when I shouldn't be and yeah all those stuff demotivates me but usually after a few minutes or hours or days , my motivation returns . The realization hits me . I was being stupid again . Wasn't it me who actually gave those motivational positive motivations to people bout how you have to be positive,determined etc etc before? lol the irony .

Stuff like this can really bring down my shield at times . I wonder , am I a hypocrite? If I am , then maybe I should just shut my mouth and not say anything for it won't do me any good .

I don't want to be someone depressing . Someone who get stressed out over minor things . I just don't want to be like those type of people but sometimes it's hard to keep my strong front . To keep smiling . To keep being positive esp. when I already failed . Tough luck Maryam . Tough luck .

Me being me

Today , so many things were planned yet none were fulfilled .

NONE .

All I did today was sleep , eat , watch tv on surf the internet . Totally not the best way to live a healthy life lol .

I don't know , I just miss this type of days . The days where I can just rest , chill and relax and not worry about anything :) Days like this turn me into a lazy and unproductive person and somehow I think that my parents are annoyed of me for being so lazy today hahaaa . Can't do anything bout that I guess :) I didn't even study or anything today . I feel like forgetting everything about studies , exams and all those stuff outside of my house and outside of my basic needs that requires loads of thinking . I feel like jumping into the sea or ocean or river and just cool myself down there . I feel like running or hiking or just simply sleep in a grassy field full of flowers or under a shady tree . I feel like all I want to do right now is to run away from the reality for a while . I don't care how long it is . I just need to clear my mind for a bit so that I won't get confused of what my real goal is and who I am . I need this type of days to keep me sane and not become a  robot or zombie who do anything and everything that has been ordered to her . Or maybe , I'm just tired and need some rest .

People who knows me well knows that that I'm the type of kid who get sick easily when I'm tired :)

I often got scolded by my parents for not taking care of my health properly too. ... *sigh* I'm just not good in this kind of stuff that requires daily intake of vitamins and healthy food . My discipline in this kind of stuff are actually quite bad :)

Well I am an active person and someone who like to be involved in activities but at home I become this lazy person who just slouch around doing unproductive stuff most of the times :) NOT all the time though :) I know when I should laze around and when I should start gearing up for whatever reason I have . I am not really that good in organizing time and sometimes I just end up regretting everything . Sometimes I just end up hitting myself literally lol like that would do any good :P But mehh .

That's just me being me . Same old me .

Hey :)

Sometimes , the only thing that I need to cheer me up in a bad day is a simple "Hey" or "Assalamualaikum" or a sincere smile from someone whom I love and care :)

and THAT is all I need .

 Everyone have that moment when they feel sad , down , frustrated , irritated , annoyed  or feel like they are such a loser but I guess you just have to experience those kind of stuff to grow up . Life is just like that . You learn by experience . You learn how to overcome sadness by experience . You learn how to not repeat the same mistake by experience . You learn how to deal with stuff by experience . It may seem cruel and harsh to you because those kind of experiences are not really what you call "sweet memory" but if you really want to become a better and greater person , you have to experience those kind of experiences :)

Believe me , the light in the end will be worth the fight .

Let's all strive for the best and InshaAllah in the end , we will meet each other with a smile on our face :) 

What if there's nothing called defeat or victory ?

My mind is clear . My heart feels calm . I'm happy . Alhamdulillah :)

You know , I may not look like one but I'm a very competitive person BUT I think wayyyy too much sometimes that it becomes my downfall in every competitions OR I just suddenly blurred out OR I suddenly feel sick coz of my unstable health right now but all in all , I love proving to people that I CAN .

I'm not that good . There always seems to be someone who are better than me in anything I do . That's normal :) Completely fine . Before , when I lost or failed in something , I breakdown and become a grumpy mengada ungrateful little kid hahaaa but now I realized that THAT was stupid of me xD Now , I actually take all those loses and failures as a motivation for ME to work harder , improve myself and prove to people that I CAN DO IT . Another thing about me is that I hate to dissapoint people so I tend to work harder and in the end I got sick coz I forced myself too much and resulted into the me now . I'm the result of thinking too much about other people's opinions and feelings and forgetting about me and in the end it harms no other than ME  . Silly me :) Don't worry , I woke up ages ago :) Yeah , society can be cruel and harsh sometimes but why should WE bow down and obey to everything they say if we know that THAT is not right . Stand up for yourself . It doesn't matter if people hate you because of that coz you know what , in the end everyone is the same . Everyone dies and will be judged by Allah SWT . His judgements is fair and you will be rewarded for standing up to what is right .

Now what if there are no "winning" or "losing" in this world right now .
What will happen to us ?
Will we still be fighting with each other ?
Will we still be improving ourselves ?

Now wait . Why is winning or losing even important ?
You see, without  losing , our ego will be as high as a mountain because we have never taste defeat . We will also become lazy and ignorant because we never feel the urge to actually do our best in something so that we can win . We will never feel that satisfaction and victory that winners feel . That feeling when you actually completed something succesfully and knowing that you did your best . Both are important . I'm pretty sure that EVERYONE has tasted both flavours before . Absolutely sure .

Winning or Losing is normal . No one is perfect . Maybe you didn't win something but then later you actually win something even bigger . You see , Allah knows what is best for you . He has everything planned out for you . He knows what's in your heart . He knows your efforts . He knows everything . Therefore keep calm , be positive and push away all those negative thoughts :)

InsyaAllah one day , each of us will become a winner . Not just in this world but also in the afterworld :') Let's keep praying for the best and Assalamualaikum .

Reasons

Why do you go to school  ?

Why do you study ?

Why did you join debate ?

What reason do you have to debate ?

Why are you a muslim ?

What reason do you have to live ?

Why do you eat ?

Why do you pray ?

Why are you friends with whoever you are friend with ?

If given the opportunity , I can write down a whole list of questions with or without the answers :)

Have YOU ever randomly stop and think of the reason why you're doing whatever you were doing before or in that particular time ? Have you ever wonder why you're even doing anything that you have ever done before ?

Well , I'm the type of person who need a reason to actually do something really well coz when I have a reason  , I will become more motivated to do it :) I can still work with no reason , but in the end I will feel weird . I will be wondering what in the world was I doing and stuff . Why would you work with no reason for ? There always has to be a reason . Like , the simplest and nicest of reasons is that you're doing something for Allah SWT :') THAT's a reason . I don't need complicated reasons , I only need simple reasons to give me the sense of urgency to do whatever I have or want to do properly . To make sure I don't slack off . To make sure that I'll will remain sane throughout the whole procedure because I have a reason to remind me of what am I actually doing this for .

Sometimes , even when I go out with my friends of family to have fun , I will firstly think of the reason why I'm going out with them xD and the answer is , because I wanna have fun for a while , strengthen our ukhuwah , understand and get to know them better and just chill and relax ;) See , reasons like that make me cherish and treasure those type of moments more  rather than just going out with them and come back home . BIG difference .

Heyy have YOU ever wonder why you're even reading my post on my blog right now? heheee . Keep on wondering xD



Just a piece of mind from a blurred 15 year old girl on this so called earth .
Peace be upon you and May the odds be ever in your favor  :)

Unfair ?

Why are some people out there still complaining about their life ?
Why are they not satisfied with their life for ?
Why can't they see all the blessings that Allah SWT has given them ?
Why aren't they saying how grateful they are for everything that has been given to them ?
Why are people commiting suicide for ?

If only they take some time in their life to actually THINK . To actually look around and OBSERVE . Then they will see . They will see how lucky and blessed they actually are :')

I have seen and heard loads of people out there complaining about their life . Telling me bout the so called "flaws" on their life and how they wish that their life is better that their current life . Me being me , I just stood or sat there and listen politely while sinking in all those heavyweight info :) Honestly it's quite interesting listening to their rants and wishes lol . Those people , sometimes all they need is to let out their inner speech and their unsatisfaction with their life to finally see how blessed and lucky they are :) We all at on point of our life feel that life is unfair and all those depressing feelings ;) but later after we have calmed down we realized how stupid we were being before and  how blessed and lucky we are actually :)

There are also people out there who have this tendency to compare what he/she have and what other people have . Usually that type of people will feel like life is friggin unfair to them whenever they found out that someone else is better at doing something than them etc. etc, but heyy in this world , there will always be someone who are better than you and someone who are worse than you in something . Besides , everyone is different . Everyone have different abilities and specialties . Someone MAY have the same ability as you do and you feel like that someone is better than you but YOU should take that as a motivation to work harder and beat whoever you think is better than you ;) Take that as a motivation to help you improve and become someone better rather than sulk and complain about how unfair life is . Remember , you gain nothing without effort .So be a fighter ! Don't be like those people who commit suicide because they are not strong enough to handle the pressure of this world . NEVER let anyone bring YOU down . NEVER let their words and actions ruin your life . Stay strong Stay calm . Every problem has a solution therefore look for the solution rather than bowing down to the problem .

Believe me , nothing good comes with giving up and REMEMBER this , Allah knows what is best for you :)


Have a great day and Assalamualaikum :)

Death

Tsunamis and earthquakes .
People truly fear those two things . They fear death . They fear those but the real question is ,do they fear Allah ? Death is such a sensitive topic . Some people got creeped out by merely mentioning that word . That word where no one knows what happens after . "Death" .

When I first saw the tweets in twitter saying that Malaysia had just experienced an earthquake . Tsunami alerts for Indonesia , Thailand and other countries across the Indian Ocean .. I froze . The 1st thing that went into my mind was ''What if I die?'' What if I die in my state now ? Am I prepared to face death ? What will happen after ? What if . So many questions and thoughts flooded my mind then I snapped back . I scanned my timeline on twitter . So many tweets from people saying that they are scared of what's going to happen . They are scared . There are also many tweets about people saying that they should go pray and ask forgiveness from Allah SWT . That's good but I hope that those people will keep on doing that even after everything has toned down :)

"Tidaklah bumi bergoncang kecuali kerana ada maksiat yang dilakukan di atasnya. Bumi gementar takut Allah melihatnya." - Kaab bin Malik RA

You see , tsunamis and earthquakes are a reminder from our Creator to wake up from our slumber ASAP. Wake up people ! the day of Resurrection is getting nearer and nearer and one day it will hit you face on .
This world we're leaving on right now is just a dream . A test . For us . Soon , we will wake up and that day ,you'll either be smiling with happiness and satisfaction or you will be crying with sadness and you will wish that you have listened to those people around you who had invited you to come to right path , to start asking for forgiveness from Allah SWT , to stop commiting all those things that doesn't benefit you at all and to prepare you for your life in the afterworld .


Brothers and sisters in Islam , let us pray for Allah to strengthen our Iman . Let us all pray that Allah will give us courage and the will to fight against all those distracting things out there and the whispers of Syaitan . Let us all pray to Allah that we will die in Iman and please remember , whatever you are , whoever you are , in the end , to Allah is our final destination .

With that , let's all change to the better and Assalamualaikum ;)

That feeling

That feeling you get when you suddenly feel the urge to take a pen and write down whatever you want to write on the spot . I posted a post before telling people about my imaginative self and now all of a sudden , I have this urge to type type and type . Times like this is when I feel like I have been eating too many sugars because right now , my IMAGINE level is at the highest level ;) well actually I think it was at the highest a few minutes a go , but now , slowly , it's decreasing as the clock is ticking .

Each and everyone of us have their own abilities and specialties . I've seen people who claim that they are untalentless yet have so many talents in them . Talents and specialties that are waiting for the arrival of their masters and mistresses to groom them to their best abilities ;) Allah SWT is fair . He knows what is best for us . He knows us better than we actually do because He is the one who created us in the 1st place . Keep THAT in mind :)

Although until now , until this very moment , I still honestly don't really know what MY talent and specialties is .  That's why , sometimes I feel embarassed and pissed of myself . Sometimes I think I know what my talent is but sometimes I do not . Looking at myself now and looking at other people who are or had been in the same age as me now makes me wonder , am I overrated ? lol . Weird . Why do I think that ? It's because some people out there have high expectations for me , praised me , respect me  . They think that I'm smart etc etc . but in the end , I failed their expectations . See how depressing that is ? See how crushing that is ? I feel like I'm such a failure sometimes yet such a winner at others . Hey you know what , THAT is normal :) THAT is what you call LIFE ;) In life , there will always be those crushing depressing dramatically sad moment but there are also those happy cheerful bright satisfied exciting moments .

No matter what , chin up people ! Keep that beautiful dazzling smile on your face and don't let ANYTHING or ANYONE to take it away from you because THAT SMILE belongs to you and you only ;) Cheer up , things may not look good right now but always know that there will be no rainbow without rain , Allah SWT knows what is best for you . Stay calm . InsyaAllah , things will turn out fine and YOU will come out stronger and better than ever ;)

My own special EPIC world ;)

Once upon a time , there was a girl who like to use her imagination to imagine loads and loads of stuff that makes her happy . This girl like to imagine so much that sometimes it distract her from the reality . Astaghfirullah . BUT as she grown older , she gain more self control :) Don't worry , she's still the same old kid who like to IMAGINE but she now knows when is the appropriate time to be in her own special epic world and when to be serious and focus InsyaAllah .

Sometimes , that girl wonder .. does other people imagine stuff like she does ?

 Does other people have their own special epic world ?

Do they sometimes randomly zoned out from a situation and enters their own special epic world ?

I'm pretty sure nearly everybody out there have their own special epic world created by their creative use of imagination :) I think that , THAT is something that all of us were born with . Imagination ;) It's ALL up to you ,  whether you're gonna use your imagination to the best extend and appreciate it or insist on living a life without imaginations . YOUR choice . 

Imaginations are fun esp. when you're bored xD 

Boredom brings out the creativity in my mind hahaaa . When I was a kid , I used to have a looot  of imaginary friends and pets LOL AND I used to have loads and loads of ideas in writing stories AND I actually wrote all of em down :D eg. Donald Duck ( I wrote new original stories bout Donald Duck ) , Kelidi ( An amazing bird full of talent xD My mom used to tell me bedtime stories about this bird , I LOVE my mom <3 ) AND LOADS MORE ! I even made friend with a ball before and made it as my pet and bestfriend , hahaa I used to roll and carry the ball around with me around the house before xD I know it's weird but heyy that's what makes my childhood days much much much MUCH more interesting ;)

The conclusion is that , being imaginative is an awesome thing that Allah SWT had given to you , therefore appreciate it , use it to the best extend , use it to increase your creativity in dakwah and other stuff and always say Alhamdulillah and be grateful for what Allah SWT has given to all of you imaginative people out there and with that .. 

PEACE BE UPON YOU ;)

The glory of fasting

Alhamdulillah . I have succesfully fast for the 1st time in 2012 :) Feeling proud of myself right now hahaa

Since fasting during a non Ramadhan month and schooldays are kinda hard , I made sure to check my schedules first so that it won't clash with any netball or handball trainings coz well you don't wanna use too much energy when you're fasting right ? logic . So at last I decided that I'll fast on the glorious 26th March of 2012 :D

Alhamdulillah I woke up early to eat my sahur without any problem ^^

After sahur I was thinking of doing some sunat prayers and read the Quran but end up falling asleep after I prayed Subuh ! *sigh* Oh well , everything happens for a reason . I probably will be sleepy in class if I was awake at that time .. probably .. but yeah , somehow I survived the day :')

Now , since I'm fasting , I didn't need to go down to the Mak Mah for morning break and lunch break so I just stayed in class and enjoy the peace and quitness of 3 Balqis when most of the residence are gone while finishing up my abandoned homeworks without any disturbance from anything and anyone :') Alhamdulillah . 

and you know what ! During Zohor prayer , my mind was so much calmer than usual and I seem to be more Khusyu' in my prayer than other days when I wasn't fasting . Subhanallah . I think today , I talk less because well I was fasting and I was saving energy xD hahah and I THINK because of that , my mind became less frantic with emotions and other stuff that disturb the peace and calm in my mind . 

So yeah , fasting is great way to calm yourself , teach you to be patient and also you'll gain rewards for your deeds and do you know that a fasting person Dua will not be rejected by Allah until they break their fast ? :) Subhanallah , amazing right ?

So everyone , let's all start fasting at least ONCE a week to get that wonderful affect and rewards you'll get when you fast BUT make sure you eat your Sahur first so that you'll have energy to do you daily routine okay ? :)