Friday, July 6, 2012

After effect

Who would thought that deep inside, I'm crying.

The first time in my life, my class nearly burned to crisp but thankfully it didn't but ya, the scene is indeed horrible. Dirty and shattered windows, broken lights, nearly burned curtains, dust everywhere, and basically my normally colorful cheerful awesome class is now all grey and dull with dust, glasses and remnants of what the burning fire did to 3 Balqis =)

Alhamdulillah.
Thankfully in the power of Allah SWT, no one was harmed. No one was in the class at that time. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. All thanks to Allah the Almighty. I'm truly grateful for that and the fact that the fire wasn't really that bad but still very bad. Thankfully, my stuff are safe although I couldn't bring it home yet coz no students are allowed to enter 3 Balqis yet. Meaning, we go home with no bags. Wow.

Even now,
the effect is still on me.
When I first knew about it, I wasn't really that affected but as the clock keeps ticking, slowly, I feel like suffocating not just because of the stench left by the fire but also because what the incident reminds me of and more specifically, what the fire reminds me of . When I first saw what happened, automatically I wanted to cry but my friends cried first causing me to bit back those tears and comforted them instead. Although later, after no more tears were dropped, my time came. I sat alone, with my thoughts, in my own world, despite the fact that there are people around me, I was in my own world, scared.

Hell. It reminds me of the hell. I'm scared. I'm terrified. I was frozen. For a heartbeat my heart stopped. THAT fire was not even half of the hell fire. Nightmare.

War. My sisters and brothers in Islam are fighting out there, experiencing worst experience and terror than I what I experienced today. Bullets flying, blood everywhere, the gruesome sound of bombs being dropped, buildings crumbling down and all they can do is watch. Ya Allah, to think that, I am already like sad and stuff because of this small fire, imagine what THEY felt when their house got bombed,raided,all the memories gone,beloved people dying, alone.Truly truly heartbreaking.

Reminder. Most importantly, that incident reminds me of this very short life. Reminds me of things I should always remember. To always be grateful, to always remember that I can die anytime, and if Allah SWT wills, anything can happen just like what happened today :) I should keep my eyes on the track. I should leave those distracting stuff, I should prepare more for my life in the afterworld. What if I was in the class during that time, alone, trapped, and knowing I'm not prepared for the afterworld yet. Even know I can still smell the stench of the fire. Nauzubillah.

Thank you Ya Allah for reminding me. Alhamdulillah :')

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