Why

Why is it that whenever I'm left alone I will become emotionally unstable ?
past memories and imaginations will flood themselves in my mind and most of them were things that I want to forget ~

It doesn't occur all the time but lately it has happened alot .

Prolly bcoz I got so used to having people around me .
Since it's school holiday my house seems to be always full .
People came to visit and my cousins slept at my house

True ~
it's true that sometimes I need some alone times by myself but it's a completely different case when all those people suddenly left and was forced to accept the loneliness that suddenly crept upon me causing all those flashbacks .

Last night I couldn't sleep .
I was alone .
heck , I was pretty much alone every night so I got used to it but not last night .
why ?
like I said it was bcoz I was used to having people around me ..

A girl who had moved alot ever since a young age , you would have thought that the girl would have got used to adapt with her new environment quickly but I guess that doesn't work out for me ..

Honestly ,
I guess I'm still a weakling .
I'm still not strong enough to handle my own problems .
I'm still not strong enough to open up and tell my problems to others that could prolly help me out from my dilemma .
still NOT strong enough .
For that ..
to be stronger ,
is still along way to go ~
let's just hope that  whatever way it is ..
whatever road that I will choose ..
whatever decisions that I will decide to take ..
whatever obstacles that will block my way..
whatever it is ..
I will face it with courage and guide from Allah so that I will not be lead astray from the right path ~